Lusting for you-completed

Chapter 84

I didn't linger long in the backyard after that. But then neither did the rest. Everyone marched in. Me to prepare Brian's and my own breakfast while Nicky and Lucian went to wash up.

The day progressed uneventfully. As if all the near misses of the night before hadn't at all happened. Lucian certainly made no reference to it and I didn't know how to broach that subject without having Lucian errupt into a temperamental inferno. He did afterall have that tendency. Especially when I made mention of my need to go vamp for him.

Unfortunately ignoring the problem won't make it go away. I wondered what plans Lucian had in place to ensure what happened last night didn't recurr. But then as night fell his intentions became clear enough.

Having just placed Ian in the crib after his night wash and feed, I encountered Lucian on the steps heading out.

"Where are you going?" I found myself asking feebly. My gaze had fallen on the the duffel bag in his grip.

"I am taking the border watch this night," said Lucian not looking at me. I hesitated then moved to inch around him on the stairs. I needed to see his face even shrouded as it was in the dim lighting.

"Running away won't help things," I muttered unhappily.

"Running away allows you to live to see another day," said Lucian grimly. I could see he would be unrelenting in this. But I knew I could never sleep this night knowing he was out there in harms way. If only someone would give in and end this vampire territory dispute.

"I don't want to live if its without you," I said simply.

Lucian sighed," We have been over this. There's no point in rehashing it all. I don't want this anymore than you do. You know that. But I can't trust myself with you. You know this too."

I stood there staring up at him mutely. I did know. Knowing did nothing for resolving anything. Neither did running. Which is all either of us seemed to be doing. I had to find another way.

"Do you have to go just now? Can't you spare me a moment first. I have not had a chance to just be with you the whole day," I said unable to help the note of intense longing that crept into my voice.

His hand reached out to brush against mine before he pulled back abruptly.

"I can spare some time but not long," said Lucian before moving off downstairs towards the library.

I followed behind. The house was quite. Brian having already turned in for the night and Nicky was out and about having taken off for the day since he healed this morning. I could only imagine what he's up to. No doubt in full blown casanova mode bed hopping through the night. But if Lucian was going out Nicky would surely be on his way back. We wouldn't be left unattended for sure.

I closed the library door behind as I entered after Lucian.

Tossing the bag onto the floor Lucian didn't stop as expected. Instead he continued strolling in to pace to the end of the room and then back. I stood uncertainly at the door watching him for a moment but then inched forward to take a seat at the lounge.

He was making me dizzy. All this to  and fro restlessness was making my head swim.

"Stop it. Stop pacing," I muttered feebly. Feeling our moment of togetherness slip out of hand before it even begun. Always. Always it was like this.

His head whipped to face me and abruptly his pace halted mid-stride. Turning to stare fully at me, he said," You test me. Test my patience and then just push at me. Your every breath reeks of you driving me crazy. I cannot be in the same space with you and not want to tear your clothes off or just tear into your pulse."

I stared up at him feeling grim and helpless as lamb before a wolf. As a predator Lucian was fearsome but as a lover he was incomparable. I was uselessly torn between the two.

"Perhaps I should just leave. We could simply back track and pretend we never were," I found myself saying tauntingly.

"We could go on our separate ways. You to find someone else to be mother to your child and I... I could go on back to Bric Coleman and take up his offer to be his wife," I continued on recklessly feeling myself catapult over the edge of sanity. 

I was fed up with us. I wanted more. and I wanted it now.

Lucian errupted into a flurry of movements. I heard the crunch of wood and a crash then saw the shattered remains of the only other sofa in the room. A swift glance around showed the rest of the furnishing in the room in an equal state of disrepair.

Then Lucian was there before me. Rage vested he tenderly drew me up and into his arms to cradle me within his snug hold. I cuddled in close grasping him to me tightly. Not caring that my own nails were clawing into him in my efforts to meld myself closer to him.

"You know you can be nothing more than simply mine don't you?"

Murmured Lucian softly while gazing intensly into my eyes.

I found that I couldn't respond. My throat felt thick with unshed tears. So I simply nodded my head mutely instead.

"Tomorrow, we will go see your dad," I said with an irrevocable finality.

His sigh was audible but his grip on me didn't relent. We stood there together held in each others embrace for the longest time till I was almost drowsy with sleep but then abruptly he was gone. The whipping wind and then the echo of the front door closing. I stood there staring after him momentarily disorientated but then I carted myself back upstairs to check on Brian then Ian before settling myself down for a restless nights sleep.