Because We Can

11~ The Art of Deadpanning

have any of you read John Green's books??

HAVE YOU NOTICED HOW MANY TIMES HE SAYS "DEADPANNED" AKJSHLFAKW SO CUTE...

so i, uh, kinda stole that from him... just a tiny bit :D that's where all the deadpanning comes from, anyways, and i STRONGLY recommend his books. READ THEM NOW. RIGHT NOW.

Jason had never actually met Piper's dad. Well, he had, but when your girlfriend's father forgets about your existence, you do not try to get to know him. You do not know him at all.

"Jase, it's not going to be that bad," Piper assured him. As they waited for subway to Mr. McLean's office, the platform was surprising empty - for a Thursday afternoon, anyways.

Jason shouldered his backpack, glancing nervously behind him. What if he hates me? he asked himself. What if he thinks I look like an idiot? Is my hair okay? Gods, guys never think about their hair, so what am I doing thinking about my hair? Wow what's that smell... OH GODS IT'S PIPER'S HAIR NOW WHAT-

"Are you seriously that nervous?" she asked, grinning at him as he saw the lights of their train grow larger through the tunnel.

"Nope, perfectly fine," he deadpanned, reaching for her hand. The metal doors swung open, and they stepped into the train together.

"Jason," she began, pausing to take a seat. The train itself was empty, too, and Jason felt free to lay an arm around Piper's shoulders. "Jason," she started again, "I'm sure he'll like you. There isn't anything to not like about you."

He almost laughed. "There's so much to not like about me, it's a miracle that I'm likable at all."

"Oh, shut it," she said, shouldering him, and then planted a kiss on his cheek.

*****************************************

Walking into Piper's dad's office building was like walking into a spaceship with seriously nice coffee machines. The hallways were endless, and business-like people buzzed around them in a frantic rush.

"Do you even know where-" he started, but was interrupted when she took his hand and dragged him to a receptionist.

"Hi, Jane," Piper said, smiling. "Is my dad busy right now?"

Jane smiled. "For you, never. But who is this?" she asked, nodding at Jason. He tensed, forcing himself to look at her desk.

Cool pencils, he deadpanned to himself as Piper bumped him with her shoulder.

"This is Jason," he heard her say. "He's a, uh, friend."

Jane laughed, her voice echoing in the silent but busy halls. "Right. Well, you know where his office is." Jason glanced up at her, just catching her mouth to Piper, Good luck.

*****************************************

Mr. McLean even had his own hallway - complete with full-on security who held full-on gun (tasers, probably) and full-on intimidating faces. They all had buzz cuts except for one - he was already bald.

"Good afternoon, Miss McLean," Baldy greeted them, eyeing Jason suspiciously. "Here to see your father?"

"Yes, sir," Piper said respectfully, looking up at Jason. "He's not busy, is he?" She was still looking at him.

"Not at the moment, Miss," Baldy said, clearing his throat and reaching for the door handle.

"Are you ready?" Piper asked Jason quietly.

"Totally," he deadpanned again, and nodded at Baldy's tiny, beady eyes as he stepped through the door.

*****************************************

"Dad?"

"Piper!" Mr. McLean smiled warmly, extending his arm to hug his daughter. Baldy had closed the door the second Jason had stepped into the room, and he hung back as his girlfriend embraced her father.

"How's camp, hm?"

"Uh... great! Yeah, it's, um, really cool."

"And who's this?"

Jason looked up at Mr. McLean, trying to smile. "I'm-"

"This is Jason Grace, Dad," Piper said. Jason could hear the charmspeak she forced out of her voice, but she was still smiling at him.

"Oh..." Her dad looked a little dazed. "Oh, okay."

"He's my boyfriend."

Jason's heart could have exploded out of his chest. Mr. McLean would either approve or disapprove, but Piper had called him her boyfriend, plain and simple.

Her father was silent for a while, and as Jason anxiously waited for an answer, he couldn't help but notice that Piper looked more nervous than she had lead on.

"Oh," Mr. McLean said again, though this time it seemed like a growl. "Oh."

"Dad-"

"How long have you been dating my daughter?"

"Uh-"

"Why are you stuttering, Mr. Grace? Is there a problem?"

"Dad, you're making him nervous."

"He should be man enough to date you, Pipes," he whispered to her, as if Jason couldn't hear.

"Almost a year, now sir," Jason stammered.

"Dad, we should really get going," Piper interrupted, adding charmspeak again. "I'll visit again soon."

"Oh..." He looked dazed again, and Jason (too quickly) reached for the door knob to escape. "See you soon, Pipes. Be safe, okay?"

"Jason will take care of me, Dad. See you."

"Yeah. Bye, Jason."

"Pleasure to meet you, sir," Jason deadpanned, and then they were on their merry way.

"We thought that you would come through.

Oh, young boy, what do you plan to do?

It a day for us to remember;

Follow me and we'll burn together."

-Bodies, Savior Adore

LOL SEE HOW I DEADPANNED THE LAST LINE HAHAHA

hope you liked this one, guys. it took me forever for some reason o.o

also, a special thanks to @That_Odd_Girl and @MusicRose17a, who both gave me the idea to write about Piper's dad. I would dedicate the chapter to both of you, but, as you probably both know, wattpad doesnt do that kind of thing.

happy reading you guys!