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I woke up feeling like, I had gotten into a car accident with an 18 wheeler

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I woke up feeling like,
I had gotten into a car accident with an 18 wheeler. The pain my body was in, was my reminder—a reminder that nothing that transpired yesterday, was anything short of reality.

My new reality—a reality where I, a married woman was falling in love with another man. A man that I was representing in a murder trial. A murder of a FBI agent of all people—not that civilians lives weren't as important. However, the charges are definitely different when a badge is involved.

My current reality, is a reality where I am not only having an affair. But the man that I was supposed to love and devote my life too—tried to kill me. Now I know love is blinding. Is being blind and choosing not to see, one of the same?

How could I have lived with a man for this long and have no clue who he actually is. Is this a new Terrance, or has he been this way the whole time?

As I rake my brain, I just didn't know.

I can't force myself to believe that this was his breaking point and he snapped. However I am lawyer, I see it all the time.

One day they're completely normal, the next day they're on the news. I see it too often.

Something in my gut won't allow me to try and make that shoe fit. Not in my case, not in my reality.

The signs were there, I made excuses for him.

Controlling, narcissistic, and the gas lighting. He has been this way, it was the perfect combination for domestic violence.

This is him, it's always been him. It came too natural, this wasn't his first rodeo. I should of known better, I ignored all the red flags.

It didn't take much to make up the real him.

I never saw Terrance for who he really was. Only because I've known him in the light he showed me.

That light was not dimmed, but now surrounded by darkness. It was pitch black, and I was praying if there was light it would be at the end of the tunnel.

"Syn." Fiona knocked me out of my thoughts.

She stood in the doorway looking at me with sympathetic eyes. It made me feel uneasy.

I hated being in this position.

I hated anyone looking at me as a victim.

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⏰ Last updated: Feb 09 ⏰

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