Heaven in Hiding (Negan)

Chapter 54

Negan laid in bed with Prue asleep on his chest. He looked out the window to see the moon was low in the sky. He had to get going. As much as he wanted to stay he knew he couldn't. He slowly slid out from underneath Prue and got dressed. He stood over her for a moment. Just taking her in. Remembering last night. He lightly ran his hand through her long black hair before kissing her forehead and walking out. He peeked in the other room to see Jenny fast asleep. She was holding onto a little stuffed puppy toy. Negan smiled and walked over to her.
"Daddy loves you sweet pea." He whispered before giving her a kiss on her forehead as well. Negan pulled himself away and left the house. He found where they kept the clothes and changed quickly.
The sun started to come up so Negan made his way to the back of Alexandra and started to climb out.
"Thought you were smarter then this." He heard and looked back to see Judith with a gun. Negan chuckled.
"You're not gonna shoot me kid."
"Umm. Yeah I will."
"Well, I ain't going back. So you pull that trigger if you have to little lady." She just kept the gun pointed at him. "How about this. You go your way and I'll go mine and we never see eachother again."
"How about no." She said and motioned for him to get down. Negan sighed and got off the fence.
"You know. When your mom and dad when they locked me off. They told he I'd be good for something. To prove that people can change. They did. For everyone but me. It's a god damn wonderland. For everyone including Prue and Jenny. But my part. It's just four walls and a fucking bed pan. Only thing that keeps me going is knowin my girls come sneak my my cell every so often to talk. But I can't hold em. Touch em. Nothing. And I know that's holding Prue back. As much as I love her. She has to live her life." Negan sighed. "I'm hold on her back."
"Rules are rules. My mom decided. Not me."
"But you can. It's just like when we have our little chats together. You're not letting me go. You're just not seeing me leave."
"You know. There's nothing out there for you. Your family is in here." Negan sighed again.
"You know me. You know me well. I promise you. That I won't hurt anyone. I promise you I won't hurt them. But I gotta go." Judith lowered her gun. "Thank you." He said before starting to climb the fence again. She watched as he got higher before she notice something. Around his neck.
"We're you in my room?" She asked.
"Want it back?" He asked her.
"Kept it. It will help you find your way. But if I see you again I'll shoot." Negan smiled.
"Yeah. I'd hope you would." And with that he was out. He was walking for a long while. He had to admit feeling the wind on his skin and sun on his face felt good. He looked back for a moment before he kept moving forward. He was gonna miss Prue and Jenny. But he knew damn well him staying there was holding her back. He wanted her to be happy. She deserved a man that she could actually be with. Not someone behind four walls never allowed to be with her. He just hopped she understood why he left.

As he walked he killed walkers here and there. All he had was a shovel but it was doing the job. He has to admit it was lonely out here but at least he was out. He's done this before he can do it again.
Eventually he got to a small town. It looked gone threw. Picked clean. He got to a clothing shop and went in. There were some things left. T-shirt's mostly. He found a few things including a wind up flashlight. He looked around the room at the rundown mannequins then saw a dead body. Looks like they had offed themselves. Then he saw it. A leather jacket. He quickly put it on when he heard it. A dog. A pack of dogs.
"Well shit." He ran and jumped up on a shelf to hide from them. Eventually they walked away and he found a way out. Negan stood there panting for a bit before he got going.

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The sun had come up and started to shine in my eyes like it always did. I smiled as I could smell Negans scent. I reached out to feel a cold bed. My eyes shot open as I sat up. He was gone. I frantically looked around the room to notice his clothes were gone. I got up and quickly threw some clothes on and searched the house. Nothing. Jenny was still asleep. I wrote her a little note and left the house to Negans cell. Maybe he went back. I walked over and whispered into the window.
"Negan." Nothing. "Negan!" I shouted. Still nothing. I looked around and grabbed a stool that a plant was resting on and looked inside. It was empty. My heart started pounding. Did he leave. Why would he leave. Especially after last night. I felt tears start to form from anger and sadness.
"You've noticed." Gabriel said. I looked back at him. "We honestly thought you were in on this."
"Does it look like I'm in on it?!" I shouted as the tears ran down my face. "Why would he leave me? Leave Jenny. It doesn't make sense." I cried. Gabriel sighed.
"He hasn't been in the best place mentally. Did you know I've been meeting with him weekly?" He said. I sniffled and shook my head. "Yeah. He's been pretty depressed. Blaming himself for you being stuck here unhappy. Alone."
"What? But that's the complete opposite." I cried. "He really feels like that?" I asked and Gabriel nodded. "Why wouldn't he tell me? Why would he just. Leave. Without saying anything?"
"I'm not sure. But we are going out to look for him. Bring him back."
"I'm coming too. I'll bring Jenny to Nora and meet at the gate in twenty minutes."
Gabriel nodded.
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Negan got to where he was going. The sanctuary. It was empty and a mess. He walked to his room. It looked about the same except there was a small bassinet in there near the bed. That must have been here Jenny slept when she was a newborn. Walking through the empty halls of his once great community was really a kick in the balls. Remembering how great it was. How great he was. The days spent with Prue running this place. He couldn't believe it was over 6 years ago. He grabbed a left over motorcycle and left.  The sanctuary was just a hollow shell and reminder of better times. All that coming here reminded him that there really was nothing left for him out here. It was all back at Alexandra. He hated that he wanted to go back. That his life was better behind those four concrete walls.
He was getting close to Alexandra on his bike. Maybe he could sneak in before anyone noticed. He looked a head to see Judith in the road point her gun at him. She shot and he skid out.
"I know you said you'd shoot but damn."
"Lots of people are out looking for you." She told him. "Including Prudence. I told you there was nothing out there."
"You sure as shit did."
"Language! I'm a kid asshole." she said making him chuckle.
"Yeah. You are." He let out a grunt as he got. "What can I say. I like to swear in front of my friends. People that know some shit." He said as he took off the watch he took from Judiths room. "Thanks for letting me borrow that." He said handing to her. She took it from him.
"Going back to Alexandra?"
"Yup. Cell and all."
"Why?"
"Because you were right. I got a look at this world outside my cell and let me tell you. There is nothin here for me. Not anymore."
"You go back. Then what?"
"I'll let you know when I know." She shrugged and lead the way. Negan smiled as he followed her. He hopped Jenny would grow up to be as badass as Judith.