Midnight Angel H.S COMPLETED

12

Sometimes, I enjoy being alone. Often, there's some sort of comfort with it. Honestly, it's just a reason to think about things.

We have two months left and I can't help but worry. Two months of planning and doing said plan. And we're in Spain. On holiday.

It's been okay being on holiday but, this is not what we're meant to be doing.

From what I can tell, Harry knows Gemma. They have the same last name so I assume she's his sister. But by the fact we haven't spoken about Gemma during this month, it doesn't seem like he cares about her all too much.

Harry and I haven't spoken since the incident at the pool- and I'm glad we haven't. If we have seen each other, it's been with the boys and we both can't help but glance at each other. His eyes are menacing but I can't look away. They draw me in just like clouds.

But his eyes and the clouds are so different.

His eyes are dark and each time I look, my heart beats against my rib cage as if it's trying to escape. His eyes burn through your soul but you can't look away. He ignites fire in my stomach with his gaze. The clouds, however, clouds draw me in with the placid sense of being free. They're all different and move ever so slightly. You'll never see the same cloud again and that gives me more of a reason to love them so much.

I look down at the red bench in the centre of the closet and notice my fingers have gone pale from my tightened grip on the seat. When I release my grip, my fingers feel cold and clammy. I clear my throat and my hands reach up to a muted yellow dress with little white flowers.

I dress myself and realise there are little laces on the sleeves and it helps the dress not look bland. The dress goes above my knee and flows when I move which makes me flicker a smile.

I take a cream tote bag from the hanger in the door behind me. Something I never noticed on the first day we got here.

I put the bag down then turn left and reach down to a draw that holds ribbons. I grab a yellow one to match my dress. I turn to the mirror, where the plant once was, and put my hair in a simple ponytail, adding the yellow bandanna where the hair tie is.

I spend a few seconds staring at myself. I don't understand how trapped I really am sometimes. I'm in this organisation without a say in the world. Some people may call it a gift, not having to care about money or any responsibility. With gifts come a price. A thing they take away from you. Something you never even had. They took away my freedom. Fighting, crimes and lies. This is what I have to spend my life on, whether I like it or not. To distract my thoughts, I quickly put the bag so it's hanging on my shoulders then I slide my white slip-ons on my feet before leaving the small room.

I walk into the kitchen and make a peanut butter jelly sandwich as well as grabbing a bottle of water. I not the biggest fan of peanut butter jelly but anything's better than chocolate spread. The boys love that stuff.

I put both in the bag and leave the house.

I heard that there's a market around here and as it's such a lovely day, I suppose it would be nice to go since I'm going to be alone for a while.

As I get closer, the voices of people buying products get louder. I'm so used to parties and loud, drunk commotion so this is foreign to me.

I turn the corner and see everyone making me freeze, a little taken back by how busy it is.

I don't think I can do this.

I should be able to do this. I know how to break someones neck, I should be able to walk in a homely crowd. I'm being pathetic, I know.