Midnight Angel H.S COMPLETED

27

After only around seven minutes of waiting, Harry pulls up. My eyes sting and my face is soaked with confused and almost angry tears. He reaches over to the passenger side and opens the door for me. I don't get in, I just look at the door. I'm not angry at Harry, I'm just angry.

"What's wrong?" He asks, frowning genuinely.

"You're a liar, Harry." I stand up and start walking. 

"What do you mean Haze?" I walk and ignore him, his car driving beside me. "Haze, please. Fuck, please just tell me."

"You've lied. You're not friends with Mala. You didn't tell me. He's my dad?" I can't find many words to say but the words still seem to fall out anyway. My heart feels like it's not pumping- it doesn't know how to. "And worse than that, he knows about this mafia shit meaning he's in the circle meaning you've fucking lied to me more."

"Fuck." He says. Yes, fuck. Fuck him and everyone. I don't know why I'm so enraged. In a way, I'm angry at Harry, I shouldn't be. I wasn't angry at him before, but his presence mixed with my upset anger is making me upset with him. "Haze- shit. I didn't know. But I've known Mala for years. Years."

"Fuck off, Harry."

"Haze- I don't know what to say. Get in the car please."

I keep walking and the car lights turn off. The smack of the door fills the area and Harry taps his feet so he's next to me, burying his hands in his pockets. I have nothing to really say so I don't. I walk past him and he takes my shoulder so I shrug him off and pause.

We're now opposite each other and there's so much guilt on his face that my mind ignores. My heart aches and my mouth is dry, my head pounding. I pull him in so I'm by his ear. "Warning three, Harry." I start. "You said that's how I'm going to die?"

"Hazel, what? Yes, but I don't do th-"

"Well, you fucking killed me." I say, my tears straining my voice. Hazel is not the Hazel I know. I feel like a piece of me is dead inside.

 I shove him and wipe my eyes. "My mum has killed me. You, Niall, Liam, Louis killed me. Mala, my father, killed me. You're all fucking murderers. I may be being dramatic but my mum is meant to support me and love me but instead, she convinced me I was her mistake. Mala, I never knew Mala ever fucking existed, Harry. I don't know who the fuck I really am anymore. You obviously knew he had something to do with me, otherwise I wouldn't have had to meet him. So yes, maybe dramatic but right now, I feel like I've had my warning three, Harry. I trusted you and my mother and you lied. If I never met you, I wouldn't had known. For fucks sake, I preferred it being a lie behind my back because that means I didn't have to think any different. I would've preferred the lies to be my truths because at least I thought it was normal."

 I cough and let myself breathe. "Is this Hazel, or is this just a shell people built for me?"

His eyes are red as if he's trying to hold tears but I ignore it. I don't want to mind it.

*

I lean on the balcony edge and my head still hurts from the tears. I don't know, maybe I'm being dramatic. But I was born and my mum chose to lie. I feel like I've been played. 

"Fuck, Hazel. Haz.." Louis' voice jumps on the balcony. "Harry is going fucking insane, love."

"Don't call me that."

"Fucking hell, Hazel. Harry's getting eaten up by whatever the fuck happened yesterday. He's a mess-"

"Am I not allowed to be a mess? Is that just not in the cards for me?" His whole stance falls and he goes quiet. "You're all liars. I don't trust any of you. I don't know why I began to."

"Hazel." he huffs. "You're allowed to feel anything you need." He pauses for a brief moment. "Just please. Please, hear him out."

"Fine." I don't really want to see any of them, but I kinda have to as I still have months with them. Plus, I suppose right now I can't be bothered to argue at all.

"He's outside the room." He says and walks out with me. 

I'm last to leave the room and as soon as I do, Harry's barging a hug. And I hug him back. I love his hugs even if I'm mad. He's glistening with sweat and his breathing is heavy and tears stain his face. I didn't know he'd cry over this. Harry Styles doesn't cry. "I'm sorry." He whispers, tears in his voice. "I'm so fucking sorry."

He holds the hug and drops to the floor on his knees. "I'm sorry, Hazel. So sorry." He looks down to the floor, I know he means this. Harry doesn't say sorry but he does for this. He's nervous. His hands are shaking. 

Despite everything, I'm not sure I forgive him.

I know I shouldn't be mad but, I'm just confused.

"Harry, tell me everything."

He stands up and hugs me briefly again. "I can't Hazel. I can't. We all wanted to. I wanted to. Hazel, we're not liars. We are, but not on purpose. Hazel, I've told you so much more than I'm allowed. I get so much shit for it, Haze. They'll kill me. Not just pieces of me. They'll end my life and I know they will. We're chess pieces too."

My heart pinches thinking about him dying. I don't know him well but I'd hate to see him die. "Just tell me when you can." I say quietly, trying to be as calm as I can. I lean into a kiss that has more meaning than so many kisses. It feels like a completed puzzle. That's not a spark, more of a flame. 

"I'm sorry. I'm so fucked up, Hazel." He says between the kisses. "When you called me an Angel, I liked it a lot. So much. But it left me so confused because I'm a fucking psychopath. I'm messed up." He breathes out. "I feel so fucking much for you and I cock everything up. I reckon that if I could save anyone, it would be you. Not because of any of the things I'm not allowed to say. But because you're Hazel. I just don't know how to fucking show it."

"It's okay." I hug him and hear his soft breaths, a lot more calm than before. "I think you're an angel. Harry is an angel. He's s nice. Harry Styles is less so. Harry, you're an angel."

"I just want Harry back."