Yellowed

Chapter 4; Boxes

It has been a day since I moved to this dorm, and here I am. It is almost three o'clock in the morning, and I haven't been able to sleep. I am overwhelmed by my dreams, and now I'm afraid to sleep. I think the deep blue of the night sky is helping me feel this too. I know what is happening to me would be considered by most people insane, but I am not.

These dreams are doing something to me, and it is changing me. It is like I am becoming different, and it scares me. I am afraid that I am losing control. I know those dreams will happen again. But those dreams aren't new. Those dreams have tormented my mind for as long as I can remember. Always the same night and filled with very vivid images. And those images are not mine. 

I went to my balcony and saw the horizon stretched over as far as the line where the sky and the mountains meet. I saw the lights coming from the buildings in the university and the still busy urban streets with moving lights on the highway. 

The wind blew softly but with a force that made my hair move. It was cold and a little wet. I went to my pocket, hoping to find a cigarette to warm me up, but I ran out of it. 

I was about to back inside when I smelled a familiar scent of smoke, but it was different from what I usually smoked. It was more strong. The aroma was not so much offensive but sweet. And very much irresistible too. I tried to look around for the source of the smoke. And I found a man's silhouette on his balcony, maybe two or three units far from mine, and even though it was still dark, I knew it was from him because I saw a small glowing red dot in his hand.

The wind is getting colder. I don't know if it's because of how early it was or because I wanted to smoke really l bad, so I went back to my room. My things are still not in order. Most of them are still in the luggage. 

The room is bare, with one lonely lamp on the corner of the table near the bed. I turned it on, and there I was, standing in the middle of the semi-empty room, staring at the window as if waiting for the aroma to come back and lingers around me. But it didn't. 

I lay down on my bed, finally feeling dizzy and exhausted. It was almost daybreak when I felt it again. I'm gradually sinking into the deep water. But this time, I wanted to swim back. I tried to swim to the surface, but it was too late. I sunk so deep that I couldn't even move anymore. All I see is faint, blurry light that may be coming from the moon. I don't know how long I had been sinking, but I could feel myself suffocating and running out of breath. I went so deep that I couldn't hear or see anything until I heard a loud ringing sound from my alarm. 

I woke up panting with my face covered in sweat even though the room was so cold. The sun shone as I looked out on the terrace and found that I didn't close it. 

It's already seven twenty-one in the morning, so even though I am still exhausted, I get ready for my class. I just walked towards the university since it's near. Moreso, I wanted to take time to shake off what I've been feeling. My dreams seem to be getting worse. I know it was early, but strangely, there were a lot of students already. 

I was walking on the pavement, looking down and analyzing the cracks that have been there for I don't know how long when I accidentally bumped into someone. I instantly apologized, but there was no apology out of his mouth. He was still standing there staring at me. My heart started pounding furiously. I can feel it in my chest. I couldn't speak even if I wanted to. I don't know if he was mad or not. He scanned me up and down slowly, which made me feel very uncomfortable.

He was tall, maybe the same height as I am. He wore a white shirt that was open at the collar and now had a strong orange stain from the drink he was holding before I ran into him. His dark hair was messy with a half-cut, but he looked well-kept. Around him were about three or four other students. He locked eyes with me and stared at me for a second.