Im sorry, I screwed up

Two

"Jennifer, you were just staring into space. Everything okay?" Emily asked. JJ put her head in her hands. "I'm fine." She whispered.

"Liar." Emily replied. "What's wrong?" JJ scoffed and leaned back in the bed. "I haven't been able to room with Spence since that night."

"In the bank. When you confessed to him." Emily added. JJ nodded and took a breath. "Yeah. At the wedding I talked to him but it didn't do much."

"I just can't forgive myself for it." She groaned. Emily put a hand on her shoulder and just held it. "You were in a life and death situation. It wasn't your fault. You got out alive and saved the victim."

"Yeah but it was a lie." JJ blurted out. She quickly covered her mouth and her eyes widened. "I shouldn't have said that. Emily. I wasn't supposed to say that." She started to cry and hugged her knees to her chest.

"Jen it's ok. What do you mean? If it's a lie that's a good thing, right?" Emily asked. She moved to JJ's side and held onto her.

"Yeah. It is."
"But?"

"But I imagined someone else. I imagined I was telling someone else. I was confessing to someone else."

"JJ that's good. You thought you were telling Will. You imagined you were telling your husband how you felt." Emily said.

JJ sat there not saying a word. She wanted to scream. The one thing JJ knew was who she was confessing to. It wasn't Spencer or Will. It was Emily.

Back in the bank.

JJ sat on her knees desperately trying to think. She knew her team was outside and one wrong move could have three people end up dead.

She was just told to say something no one knows. Her brain went on and on trying to find something to say.

"I wanted to name her Maggie."

But that wasn't good enough. What else is there? There's nothing in her head. No thoughts, no ideas, no clues.

Who can see her right now? The team, the unsub. The team. That's it.

Tara, Luke, Pen, Matt, David, Emily. Emily. That's it. That's something no one knows.

"Spence, uhm..." That should help. Maybe that will make it better.

"Uhm, I have always loved you. I was too scared to say it before... and now things are just really too complicated to say it now. I'm sorry, but you should know."

"Jen it's ok." Emily said. "No it's not!" JJ yelled back. She took a breath and Emily removed her arm from JJ. "Sorry. I'm just frustrated. At myself. I shouldn't have let it get this far."

"I haven't told Will. About what happened. And I'm walking on eggshells when I'm around him. I just really messed up." She sighed.

"Oh JJ. I'm so sorry. Maybe if you talk to him you will feel better." JJ nodded and wiped her face.

"So. Mendoza." She said. Emily nodded. "I never imagined you in Denver."

"Me neither." Emily sighed. "But he wants to go." JJ raised an eyebrow and Emily rolled her eyes. "I just- I love him."

Lie. Emily knew it was a lie. Maybe she did have feelings for him, but it wasn't love. It wasn't something she would move for. She hates moving.

JJ knew it was a lie. She had been around Emily for 14 years. By now, it was easy to tell when she lied. And that was a lie.

"Emily." She groaned. "He's just not my type." Emily responded. "And you want to go to Denver with him?"

"More like I don't know how to tell him I don't." Emily sighed. JJ wrapped her arm around her and rubbed her shoulder.

They sat in comfortable silence until JJ yawned. "You should get to bed. We have a long day tomorrow." Emily said. She reluctantly got up and went to her bed.

She went to say goodnight but JJ was already asleep.