Of Caverns and Casters ✓ [TLRQ #1]

Chapter 68 - Sean

I embrace the cold. There's always been something about winter snow that entrances me—it's numbing. Whatever pain I want to quiet, whatever memories I want to forget, in the cold, I can.

The snow covers the forest in a peaceful, uninterrupted blanket. The frosty bite in the air calms my breaths. Chill bumps rise on my skin, and my thoughts turn from the aching inside me to the simplicity around. The snow is so much purer than that mockery of a home. My mind sinks into a comforting rhythm of nothing but my steps in the snow.

"Sean!" The call shatters my carefully composed distance from the world.

"Sean!" Leavi's voice rings out once more. It feels like a knife to my chest.

My feet stutter to a stop. She's yelling for me.

"Why?" An incredulous laugh escapes me, and I mutter, "Leavi, what could you want from me?"

"Sean!"

I look to the side. A tree stands tall beside me, its dark bark frosted. It's not going anywhere any time soon. It knows its place in the world.

I know where I need to be, too. I also know where I'm not going to be of any use.

I take a step forward.

"Sean!" she yells. She's packed more desperation, more emotion into my name with the one call than she has in the culmination of every other time she's said it.

I swallow and take another step.

"Sean!"

Something inside me cracks, and I set a hand against the tree, head down.

"Why are you torturing me?" I murmur. "You don't want me around. You have people, but I'm not one of them."

"Sean, you idiot, would you please just come back? Please! Sean!"

My head tips to the sky. Through the leaves, pale grey clouds stare back at me.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. "I really am sorry." I pause. "But I know nothing's going to change."

I stand there for minutes, the wind whistling a mournful tune through the trees. My shaky breaths cloud the air.

Finally, I drag my hand down my face. "You've made your choice," I mutter. "Now go through with it."

I push off the tree and pull out an old compass. Morineaux's south.