i'm a fool

chapter two

Hey yall, another update because i have some free time!! Thank you for all the support on this story already, i truly don't deserve it- idk how i could thank you all.. Ok ok i'll shut up, but seriously.. I appreciate you. Ok enjoy reading <33 - jade

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Deenas pov

I couldn't help but bite my nails, i watched on the bleachers as sam practiced with her team, her having control of everything was kinda hot.. But, i couldn't stop thinking of how much she probably hates me right now.

I soon saw Cole..Her rich, 'Smoking hot' if you want to call it boyfriend run over to her. Her team went off and Cole leaned her down, kissing her passionately. You could hear her giggling from the distance, she soon kissed him back and i don't know why it got to me so much..

The fact that i wished it was me, or the fact how i wanted to touch every inch of her body, or if i just wanted her all to myself.. Maybe even all. Once i snapped out of my gaze i lost track of sam, i began to panic.

'Shit where'd you go now.' I thought to myself, once i finally found her, i sighed of relief. She was on the other side of the field, with the football players. Cole was hugging her from behind, their hips swaying in sync, she looked so happy.. So pretty.

I sighed, i got out my journal, a place that i feel i can tell everything in.. It was like my home, in a safe place. I got out a sharpie and began doodling hearts with the initials S + D inside them.

I felt relieved.. Like nothing could ever get in the way of my love for her. I was calm and stuck in my own thoughts, without even realizing it.. My journal left my sight. I looked over, it was some stupid boys, "Ooo deena's got a little crush!" They chuckled. "Cmon mason give it back." I tried getting it but his other friend was holding me back.

He gasped, "And your crush is sam fraser??!! Just wait until she see's this!!" He exclaimed. He began running away, and his friend let go of me, "MASON STOP!! GIVE IT BACK YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" I chased after him, we were in the field. "No!" Mason was already in sam's sight. "SAM!! Deenas got a crush on you!!" He gave her the book. She was reading my poem i'm guessing.

"Your lips so soft and red,
the thought of kissing you stuck in my head.
Your beauty so bright and warm,
shining through the night storm,
My love for you is pure and true,
I can't seem to stop, thinking of you."

I froze, fucking shit up. I was stuck, everything i wanted to explain stuck in my throat. Sam soon stopped reading it and looked at me, her boyfriend glaring at me. "You like my girlfriend huh?" Cole said coming up to me. "No.. It's not like that." I tried to explain.

"No one would want a freak like you anyway, making love letters and hearts like a creep?! What are you 2?" He shouted. "I..I'm sorry." "Cole stop." Sam sighed. "Since when were you a fucking dyke? What ever since your dad left you and your family you just decided to like girls? This bitch really needs a father figure.. Your all fucked up." He got closer to me.

I sighed, "Get the fuck out of here you little pussy. Take your diary with you." He threw my journal at me. I picked it up and ran to the gym, hearing everyone laugh. I was the only one in the gym thankfully. I to the locker room, i sat in the small office that no one was in. I slowly fell against the wall.

I began crying, i threw my journal and put my head down, sobbing onto my arms. I began getting flashbacks, of when my dad did leave my family, or when he got another girl pregnant.. He has a whole new family now, i liked girls.. And i'm okay with that. Why can't everyone just like me for who i am? Why do i always have to be a screw up?