Star Wars Rebels: A Collection of Short Stories

The Aprankolypse (Part 2)

The Inquisitor held his new single-bladed lightsaber against Ezra's neck. "It ends here, padawan.."
While Ezra was scoping out the city for prank planning, he ran into the Inquisitor. They dueled and, obviously, Ezra lost. Ezra's lightsaber was clipped to the Inquisitor's belt. Ezra gulped, backed against a wall, and thought frantically.
"Before I die, I have a question.." Ezra said.
"Fine.. What?"
"Didn't you die?"
The Inquisitor rolled his eyes. "I landed on a platform and created an illusion that I died, obviously."
"Oh, right.. Obviously."
"And you aren't going to die.. I'm going to convert you to the dark side and make you my padawan."
"Yeah, right. Like you'd want me to be your padawan. I'm the most annoying padawan ever.. Seriously. Ask anyone."
"That might be, but I'll torture the habit from you and help you unlock your full potential."
A blue lightsaber pushed the Inquisitor's lightsaber from Ezra's throat.
The blue lightsaber's owner stepped from the shadows.. Kanaan. "Over my dead body."
"Like I've never heard that before.." the Inquisitor mumbled.
"Surrender now and I won't unleash my padawan."
"Your padawan? He's nothing in the face of-"
"Yeah, yeah.. I know. In the face of true power and blah blah blah. Stop pretending to be so mighty. I'll even start monologuing-"
"I don't think that's a word.."
"Really? I think it is."
"No, it isn- Why am I arguing with a jedi about grammar? Prepare to perish!"
"How do you 'prepare to perish'?"
"I don't know.. I learned it from dark side trash talk 101."
"Seriously?"
"Maybe.. It's a dark side thing."
"Really? Interesting."
"Ye- Stop distracting me!"
"Me? Distract a competent, evil dark jedi? Haha, no.. Not me.. EZRA! NOW!"
The Inquisitor turned to see the entire city painted orange and hot pink. (Thanks for the suggestion, MCRockerGirl!) Every last one of city's TIEs blew up just at that moment thanks to Sabine; a pile of all the city's Imperials lied unconcious in a pile in the middle of the square with stolen food being thrown at them by some rebel inspired anti-Empire citizens; an awkward photo of the Inquisitor was blastered everywhere with a drawn in mustache and eye patch; another photo was up saying 'Rebels Forever!'; and Ezra ran around the Inquisitor and spray painted him pink. Ezra also took his lightsaber back, tied the Inquisitor's feet together, and made him hang upside down from an anti-Empire sign. The Inquisitor's lightsaber was broken by Kanaan.. Again. Ezra bounced up and down.
"How..? How did you..?" the Inquisitor said.
Kanaan smirked. "We did the one thing no sane person would ever do.. Give Ezra sugar and energy drinks."
"THIS ISN'T OVER!"
"Like I haven't heard that one before.. Come on, Ezra... Ezra?"
Ezra had sugar crashed and was asleep on the floor. Kanaan threw Ezra over his shoulder and walked back to the ship.
In his sleep, Ezra mumbled, "Terrible.. Horrible.. Wrong.. Undeserving.. Padawan..."
Kanaan stopped in his tracks and frowned. Did Ezra seriously think that was the padawan he was? Kanaan decided that he would correct Ezra.