A Weary Vampire

Chapter 20

Love. Love is a wild wild concept. What is love? How do you define it? Is it actually something bigger and more worthwhile than just an imbalance of emotions? I don't know.

I have loved my parents before, and I have loved my friends, back from when I was human, and those I made after becoming a vampire. But what about romantic love? What about companionship? What about soulmates? As a reader of all kinds of love poetry, hozier to sappho... I once started believing in all of them. I think in some corner of my mind I still do. But what is the point in believing in all this, when being a vampire and finding love is nothing more than a movie truth? It's really sad and all that bullshit, but vampires finding soulmates is just as big of a troupe as enemies to lovers in literature. And just like how real life works, it's not something that happens very often here, in reality.

It's fun creating scenarios in your head though. No one can stop you, and it could be literally with anyone you desire to be with. Just don't actually start believing that's real, and it's all good till then.

Except...sometimes you do start believing that you have a chance. Maybe you do, but you wouldn't find out till the final puzzle pieces get put in place. And as you might have guessed, I did fall in the trap, and quite a few times at that too. Infact, I had been falling in 'love' at least once every century, regretting it, deciding not to go that path again, and then obviously bouncing back to my same old routine. What can I say, I'm a very loving person, people. Though I wish there were more eligible bachelors in the vampire category, then, it might actually have been worth it. You know, something like forever ever after... but in real life. But it's just a fantasy, right? An impossible dream, a utopian idea.

The best, and maybe the only eligible bachelors are a part of the royalty, they live in castles, eat out of gold platters and marry the person who is chosen by their elders, to continue their clan. So you could maybe get into flings, maybe. But expecting a long term relationship would be a foolish action, for anyone. Nope, never again. And by that I mean never again.... I mean NEVER EVER AGAIN.

But hey, at least I can say that it wasn't wholly, or ever majorly my mistake at that point. He did use compulsion on me, he even admitted to that, and if he could use it so flawlessly that I couldn't even notice the brain fog even once, he was damn good at it. And I mean that. But not gonna lie here though. Dating him, I did feel quite lucky because despite the person he was... he was quite the catch. Hot, handsome, had a good humour, great communication skills... a royal.

Maybe it was a delusion, maybe I did actually fall in love with his big brown puppy eyes. Because I know for a fact that compulsion works great only when the target has, somewhere deep in their mind, an actual desire for the thing. But the science behind it also confuses me because like... not every situation where compulsion can be used is linked to desire... then how, does this mysterious power of ours channel itself to get the task done? Maybe I'll never know.

What I do know is, I dated him, and it is absurd to even think about the possibility of such a series of actions in today's scenario.

I mean I've hated him with a passion since forever. But isn't that exactly how you fall in love?

Fall in love with the wrong person.