My Murderous Finale - ✔️

Chapter 24

Milo came a few hours later while I was walking around the halls with Kellan. The two of them chatted for a little while before Kellan left, leaving us alone again but this time felt different. I suddenly felt nervous around him again, wondering what was going on In his head. We sat in silence until the silence got too loud.

"Hey, Milo, do you think we could talk ?" I couldn't take my eyes off him, had I really forgotten how incredibly hot he was? Or did I just try to not think about it to try to protect my heart from getting attached and subsequently hurt?

" Of course, Elliott, what do you want to talk about?"

His eyes slowly met mine and I almost lost every thought while his beautiful green eyes stared at me.

" I should have told you." I started " I felt like I could, I just didn't want to. Whatever it was that we had going on, the last thing I wanted to complicate it was my home life. It was bad, really bad, and when I was with you," I paused, how much did I want to admit to him and more importantly to myself " when we were together it was the furthest thing from bad. I really, really loved being with you even if it was just sex."

"Elliot,"

" No, let me finish. I wanted to tell you I honestly did. But I didn't want you to pity me so I didn't. I didn't want all of my bad ruining the one really good thing I had going on. And mostly I'm really sorry that you found out by walking in and seeing me at my absolute worst. I never wanted that, for Kellan, for you, for anyone. I'm just sorry." I finished, I was trying so hard not to cry but I felt a tear betray me and slide down my cheek. I wiped it away quickly. Silence filled the room for a couple minutes before Milo spoke.

" Honestly, I've thought about this conversation for the last 2 weeks. Thought about what I'd say to you or what I'd actually admit to both of us. But that night, dammit, first of al,l that wasn't your worst. That was the worst the situation could have gotten but I don't see it as your worst." He shook his head and looked down at his hands before finishing.

" That was you at your strongest, Elliott. So don't be sorry that I saw that, because part of me is glad I did, because now I know just how strong you are. But the other part of me? The other part, fuck, I hated seeing you broken by some fuckin asshole who didn't even understand what he had. I was scared, I was really scared that you wouldn't wake up. And then I had all this time to think about how the prospect of losing you made me feel." he finally looked back at me and there was more pain there than before. "Shit I was already feeling it when you ran from me that night. I almost told you that day we were talking, but I just couldn't after all that had just happened."

" tell me now," I whispered

Milo stood and moved towards me. His hand slid into my hair and rested on my jaw. He was so close I could smell his woodsy cologne and memories flooded through my mind of the day we spent together in Miami.

" I can't tell you, El. I want to. I really do. But what I want to tell you, I just can't right now. Because you're finally able to be who you're supposed to be. You're free and what I want doesn't matter right now. What you want is all that matters." He told me so matter of factly.

I leaned forward and closed the space between us. I kissed him gently and his grip in my hair tightened slightly. He kissed me back but I could feel that he was holding back. I needed him to know that what I wanted was him kissing me, him touching me. I wanted him. But like him I felt like I couldn't say that. So I tried to say it with my kiss. I slid my hands around his neck and into his hair and pulled him closer, kissing him deeper.

I whispered into his lips " right now, this is what I want

A muscle in his jaw tightened. "Elliott,"

" Milo. For now, that'll be enough. For now" I repeated and I prayed that he understood what I was trying to say but couldn't. That, for now, I was ok with that but I definitely wanted more than that. "I don't want a relationship today, not with anyone after that shit. But I guess, like you, the thought of losing you makes me ... I honestly don't know what it is but it's not a good feeling. So, for now, are you fine with friends?"

" Friends don't kiss like this, Elliott."

" Friends also don't want to do way more than kiss. So how about friends who sometimes kiss a lot?" I asked and he smiled finally.

"I'd definitely be ok with both of those. For now."

The way he said for now, exactly how I had, made my heart twist in my chest. He purposely said it like I had, to what? Make me understand that just like I had meant, he was ok with this but truly he wanted more? Why was that so hard for me to grasp?

He was still so close to me and I couldn't think clearly with him touching me. His hand slowly drifted down to my side and he pulled back some. He grabbed the hem of my large tee and gently raised it stopping just below my breast. His fingers grazed my incision.

"Does it still hurt?"

" no. I mean I'm still on some pain meds but after the stitches came out, it feels a lot better."

"So you probably shouldn't have someone sitting in bed with you huh?" A smirk spread across his face and his fingers grabbed the sheet pulling it down my thighs some.

I was unable to speak. I wanted him, god I wanted him so bad. He leaned down and kissed me again. Sweetly. Then his lips trailed down my throat. he smiled, turned off the light then slid in next to me pulling me close to him.

Silence filled the room but unanswered questions rumbled loudly in my head.

"We should talk," I whispered, " about what happened between us before that shit show."

"Why'd you run?" Was all he asked me and the vulnerability in his hushed voice made me feel like I could tell him anything

" I'm not on birth control" I sighed " I couldn't be, Evan would have lost it. It was very reckless because of how, um, close we were multiple times, I know. And when we were in the car." My words drifted off. Milo shifted behind me, cradling me against his chest and it was distracting especially while talking about the wonderful time in the car.

"Elliott, it's not your fault. I knew the risk of not wearing a condom. I also never asked you if you were on birth control. And I had plenty of opportunities to ask. But what happened in the car," his words faltered just as mine had.

Our minds both on the night 2 weeks ago that we'd lost ourselves in each other. For some reason it was far more intimate and then he called me sweetheart. That was very different. I just couldn't bring myself to think of why. I adjusted myself, reveling in the contact of our bodies again. As I did, I could feel what thinking of our car escapades did to Milo's body, against my ass. I wanted to moan but I contained it, clenching my jaw.

" I had full control of your hips. I don't know why I didn't pull you off, I want to blame it on how hot it was watching you on me but I just, fuck, Elliott In that moment, it just felt like so much more." He paused for a moment and I felt his fingertips gently rubbing along my stomach " it felt like we were so much more."

Even being in that moment with him and feeling exactly what he meant by so much more, I couldn't wrap my head around it. He's my brothers best friend, I'm older than him, I was married at the time. There was no rational reason for him to want me, want a relationship with me. I was so confused, but not about how I felt.

" like I said earlier, we should table this conversation and come back to it once things calm down a little ." Milo whispered and I shook my head in agreement.