Call me England Dixon

Chapter 32: pretty much dead already...

Englands POV:

Have you ever had that feeling where everything's gone to sh*t and you blame yourself because you know there's nothing you can do about it? No matter how hard you try, no matter what you do nothing seems to make time just stop. Not give you time to breath. Or to think.

Or to even try calm someone down from their bad temper when all they want to do is murder someone. Or you not being able to process the right way when you find out your mother is pregnant in this craziness and she wants to get rid of her child and you want to help her but what can you do? Your not the one carry the child.

Well to be honest I'm kind of have that feeling in this exact moment. Sitting here on a log next to Daryl. Him digging into his plate of food while mine just sits on my lap untouched. Everyone else is here too eating in front of the fire to keep ourselves warm in this cool morning.

The sizzling of the cooking eggs is the only thing making noise in the silence that's surrounds us. Andrea sharping her knife. My father looking off into the fire. He sits next to me as mum and Carl sit on the other side of him.Oh. I forgot to mention.

He found out about mums pregnancy yesterday when he saw her abortion pills on the table in their tent. He came over to me and Daryl asking if I knew about it. I told him the truth obviously, he wasn't very much angry with me at that. He was mainly angry at Glenn for not saying anything but soon got over it. Understanding what position Mum had put him in. I look over to where Glenn sits which is across from me on the other side of the fire. He looks off into the distance where Maggie stands at the porch of her house staring at us all. She shakes her head.

I know what she means. She doesn't want him to say anything, but I'm not going to let him keep this secret from us, from his family just for her. He looks down before looking at Dale. Who nods his head. Encouraging him to speak. Yeah, I found out Dale knew yesterday as well when Glenn and I were walking back to Daryl's tent. Glenn nods his head, agreeing with Dale on this. He puts his plate down and stands. Everyone looks up at him.

"Um, guys." He starts. Fidgeting with his hands. He looks over at me and I give him a small comforting smile to let him know I got his back. "So...the barns full of walkers." He blurts out.

Everyone freezes for a second just looking at him. Most likely processing what he just said. They all look at him confused and as if it snapped  everyone all stands up at the same time and starts walking over to the barn.

Glenn and I look at each other before racing after them. When we get there, we hear the groaning loud as proof that he was right.

"You cannot tell me, you're all right with this." Shane says walking back to us from taking a closer look by the doors that are closed by chains.
He passes my father still stomping.
"No I'm not, but we're guests here. This isn't our land." Dad says.

"God! This our lives man!" Shane shouts.

"Lower your voice!" Glenn says.

"We can't just sweep this under the rag." Andrea states.

"It ain't right. Not remotely."

"Okay. We've either got to go in there, we've got to make things right or we've just got to go. Now we have been talking about fort Bennington for a long time." Shane says, pacing back and forth. I roll my eyes.

"We can't go!" My father shuts him down.

"Why, Rick? Why?"

"Because my daughter is still out there." Carol says.

"Okay. I think it's time that we start to just consider the other possibility." Shane says. I glare at him.

"Shane! We are not leaving Sophia behind!" I say.