Cautionary Tales for Young Girls

Message in a Bottle

(I put the video of the story I'm basing this story on up there. That way you can read and watch and compare the two stories. Think this as an audiobook. For the best experience please wear headphones and turn it all the way up.)

The Ainos were not a rich family.

But Mr Aino had made money out of a "pear-in-a-bottle" mystery for 20 years.

Nobody had ever guessed his secret. All anyone knew was that he owned a pear tree of the species Williams Bon Chretien. Every year, a single pear was all that could be coaxed from the tree, which gave Mr Aino his job.

And that was exactly the way he and his wife wanted it.

But his daughter Rei (who dressed like she was rich even though she wasn't) didn't like the pear one bit.

Rei was embarrassed by her father's job.

"There's nothing wrong with being different," Mr Aino would tell her. "You have to be proud of where you come from."

But Rei was not proud. She cursed her dad for the job he had chosen.

***

One day, Rei announced to her parents:

"Father, I hate your fucking job! It's like humiliation by eating poop, even though I'm the most beautiful and popular girl in school, and I have the meanness to match, even though I'm middle class!"

'That's not true,' said Mr Aino, shocked by both his daughter swearing and her opinion of his profession.

"Yes it's true!" said Rei.

"And I hope one day you change your job!"

Well, be careful what you wish for, Rei. Because you might just get it.

***

Later that day, in her room, Rei heard a French voice:

"Madame Rei, I am knowing how to change your papa's job. It is simple. Kill the pear tree. Chop through its roots."

Well, Rei sure knows how to bear a grudge!

It was such a simple plan that Rei didn't know why she had never thought of it before.

But it was an old tree which had many roots, and what she thought would be a quick job quickly turned out to be a long one. By the time she'd finished, it was the next morning and her parents were awake.

"If I catch you," vowed her father. "You'll wish you were never born!"

Rei climbed up the dead tree.

All she saw was a green pear bud.

But instead of a pear, a Frenchman sprouted out.

"Merci, Madame Rei. You have made a minnikin very happy." said the Frenchman.

"What's a Minnikin?" asked Rei.

"I am," said the Frenchman. 'When you cut the roots of the tree of the pear a minnikin always grows. Did you not know this?'

"No,' said the girl.

"It is true. And you have helped me and I have helped you. If the tree is dead, Madame Rei, your papa can no longer put a pear in a bottle and he will have to change his job. Don't drop that bottle, will you? Put it in your pocket. We will need it later.'

"Do you have a name?" asked Rei.

"My name is Poor William," said the Frenchman.

"Are you a fairy godmother?" asked the girl.

'I am a man, not a woman, and I am more of a tree sprite, but I am very magic." said the Frenchman.

"Now, something else will go in the bottle instead of a pear!" said Rei.

"Something like what?" asked Poor William.

"Something like you!" said Rei.

The Frenchman was angry. 'You want me to live in a bottle like a prisoner for the rest of my life? You want your family to make its living out of my misery?'

Rei was surprised.

"I thought that's what you wanted." she said.

'No. Something else will be going in the bottle to make your parents' fortune, but it is not me!" said the Frenchman.

"What is it?" asked Rei.

'It is you!' beamed the minnikin. 'You want your father to do something different ... Bingo! Your wish is granted!"

Then, in the flutter of a fly's wing, the minnikin got a massive tray filled with porpoise grease, and turned Rei over and over in the grease until she was covered all over.

After he'd covered Rei in porpoise grease, he sat her in the neck of the bottle and, showing remarkable strength for a person barely six centimeters high, shoved her straight in.

In less time than it takes to fill a thimble full of liquid gold, Rei was crushed up inside the bottle like a camel in a microwave.