Cautionary Tales for Young Girls

Red Anger

Once upon a time, there was a little girl known as Mimi. On the outside, Mimi appeared to be the sweetest, gentlest little girl who had ever lived.
The little girl wore cute little dresses. Everything in Mimi's bedroom was a shade of purple. She had purple teddy bears, purple ponies, and a purple vanity set.
The only coloring crayons Mimi owned were shades of purple.
The girl had a collection of antique porcelain dolls all dressed in pretty little purple nightdresses which she tucked up with herself when she went to sleep.
Mimi's favorite toy was a miniature purple tea set.
The girl would delight people by making them watch her drink tea from a tiny teacup and stuff her face with dozens of fairy cakes with purple icing.
Everyone thought the little girl was absolutely adorable.
However, this adorable behavior masked what Mimi was really like inside.
The girl was easily angered.
Her life was like a stick of dynamite.

If you lit the fuse, it led to a massive explosion.

Anything and EVERYTHING would set her off.

Needless to say, Mimi's father was furious when he found out about his daughter's anger.
"Mimi!" he shouted.
"Yes, father?" asked Mimi.
"Don't be angry anymore!" her father shouted.
"I can't control it." said Mimi.
"Mark My Words, young lady." her father said. "One day, you'll get your comeuppance!"
One day, she did.
Our story begins on a Thursday morning.
If there was one thing Mimi hated more than anything, it was school.
Now, if there was one thing Mimi loved, it was Hide and Seek because she knew lots of places where the seekers could never find her.
So, Mimi placed a waxwork she had made of herself in the bed, put ice cubes in it, and hid in the cupboard under the stairs.
She tried to be as quiet as possible.
18 hours later, Mimi came out of the cupboard, as her father asked her.
"So, Mimi, how was school today?"
"It was the best day ever." lied Mimi.
Her father believed the lie.
"Keep up the good work!" he said, unaware that school had been the best for Mimi because she had been hidden under the stairs.
Mimi then cackled to herself. Because she'd got away with one day off, Mimi decided to try for another.
So on Friday, Mimi decided to sleep in the Garden.
Needless to say, dear reader, this is the point in the story where things began to go horribly wrong.
That day, the gardener was mowing the lawn.
As Mimi was asleep, she didn't hear the sound of the gardener starting up the lawnmower.
She didn't hear the throaty growl of the engine, or the buzz of the mower blades as they spun hungrily into life.
She didn't hear the sound of the mower as it slowly rumbled towards her, slicing through the grass, getting closer and closer.
Closer the lawnmower went to her, threatening to kill her.
Only to miss her by centimeters.

Unfortunately, the man noticed he'd missed a bit and so put the mower into reverse.

BUZZZZZZZZZZ!

The lethal lawnmower blades chopped through Mimi's nightdress, turning it into a minidress.
Rudely awakened, she leaped up in terror and ran into an area.
But that area was booby-trapped. Where there had been solid earth beneath her feet now there was only a muddy, slimy, sucking, squelching bog and she was sinking. Mimi was already buried up to her knees when her voice turned to panic. 'HELP!' she hollered into the void.
But it was too late. Mimi sank into the bog and disappeared.
Mimi woke up in a cave. Dripping mud and slime, she stomped from the cave, crying tears of sadness.
Only to find she was directly in the path of a water balloon fight!
A big balloon then bombarded Mimi on the head.
BOOM! The inside of the balloon soaked Mimi from head to foot like a freezing, high-powered waterfall. What was left swept her back into the cave and swilled her about like old toilet paper being flushed down the pan.
Her father then appeared and then saw an odd sight lying asleep on the cave floor.
It was Mimi. She was all wet and sobbing.
"So you've indeed gotten your comeuppance." he said.
"Wahhh!" Mimi wept.

The little girl had never felt so sorry for herself in all her life.

Mimi had learned her lesson. The little girl would never throw another tantrum again.