Over Your Shoulder | Spencer Reid NSFW

Shatter

Summary:

Jasper wakes up in the hospital. Spencer waits for her to wake up.

Notes:

This chapter was pretty upsetting for me to write, and the next one was really hard to write as well. It was very emotional for me, and as I've said before Jasper is a projection of myself in many ways. Her childhood is similar to mine and the feelings she explores as a teenager and an adult mirror some of the ones I struggled with a lot.

CW: Child abuse
CW: references to drug use
CW: Mentions of r*pe but no description or anything at all! Just the word.

- Smurph❤

Belle Terre, Louisiana- Twenty Years Ago

"You ready, Sugar?" her father asked, his eyes blazing as he loomed above her. They were standing in front of their trailer, doing another one of his 'training sessions,' which were his way of teaching her self-defense, all while littering her in bruises.

She dreaded these, but luckily they only happened once a month, when her mother went to visit her family in Charenton. Sugar was sure her mother was meeting her boyfriend, the one she wasn't supposed to know about, but she never said anything to her. If her father found out, he'd kill them both, so it was best to keep it to herself.

"Daddy, I'm not sure about this..." she muttered, tugging her fingers and avoiding his gaze. Her father was well known around their small town for his temper, but nobody knew his capacity for anger more than Sugar and her mother.

"Sugar, look at me," he grunted, and she heard his feet shuffling on the dirt drive. She looked up at him hesitantly, waiting for the slap that was coming her way, but none did. He simply looked at her, a pleasant smile stretched across his weathered face. "You know I'd never hurt you unless you did somethin' wrong, right?"

"Yes, Daddy."

"Then let's get on it."

She stood up straight, her feet a shoulder's width apart like he taught her as she tried to maintain her composure. Her father stepped forward and wrapped his big hand around her throat, giving her a solemn look before he tightened his grip. Her hands went straight for his wrist, trying not to scratch him in the panic that gripped her.

"Stay calm, kid, I ain't gonna hurt ya," he told her, then picked her up off the ground. Her eyes bugged out of her head as the breath left her body. Her feet kicked out underneath her, but it was no use. He was too big and too strong for her to wriggle free.

Her father was a tall man, a former professional fighter whose career ended when Sugar was just six. He had been leaving a successful fight when his opponent stabbed him in the back, damaging the nerves forever and leaving him on disability. He was in a lot of pain, and she did her best to help by giving him back rubs and making sure his whiskey tumbler was always full.

It took her a long time to realize that her father was an addict. She had no idea why all the spoons would go missing, or why her father's temper could turn on a dime, until Sam Donnelly told her about Leonard Sampson's dad, who did the dreaded meth , and turned into a monster at the drop of a hat. Things clicked into place after that, and she understood her father a little better.

Sugar got her looks from her mother, her father's wild hair and dark eyes, but had her father's temperament boiling deep beneath her skin. She was angry, and while she would never take it out on her family or friends, she understood her father's rage.

It was loud. It shook walls and slammed doors. It made sure you knew it was there and that it had power over you, that you had no control over the way it consumed you like wildfire. She'd found more and more over time that her father was the personification of everything that was wrong with her. He was the living, breathing, monster that lurked deep in her soul.