Never Letting You Go. ( sequel to 'Stay with me' Carl grimes fan fiction)

Chapter 9. Writing my feelings.

Paige's POV

I've been up for a while thinking of a way to get these thoughts out of my head. I walked over to my bag and found my old journal. ( on my iPad it don't have italics so I'm going to us "•" these to show that what she wrote in her journal)

I grabbed a pen and flipped to the first blank page.

• to so hard not talking to him•

• he didn't only bruise my arm. He also bruised my heart•

• I don't know what to do. I still love him, but I don't know if I should forgive him..•

• trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you've never met..•

See that's what I do. Most people write paragraphs about their feelings, not me. I just write little lines.

I put my journal down and put on my white converse, than walked downstairs.

" Hey Paige can you watch Judith today?" Rick asked me and I nodded. I took her from his arms and went and sat in the living room.

" I should be back around dark. If you want you can go visit Maggie at Deanna's house. She would really like that." He said and I nodded. Rick left and It was just me and Judith. I'm sure there's other people around the house but it feels like we're alone. I heard footsteps coming from downstairs but I didn't look.

" Paige." Carl said and I stood up, grabbed Judith's dipper bag and walked to the door.

" Going to visit Maggie." I said and walked out the door. It was a windy, warm day. I think summers ending cause it's getting a little colder each day.

I walked down the road with Judith in my arms pulling my hair.

" I really need to get you more toys." I said and she laid her head on my shoulder.

When I reached Deanna's I walked up on their porch and knocked on the door.

" Hello there Paige! What brings you here." Deanna asked and she motioned me to come in.

" I'm just here to see Maggie." I said and she smiled.

" Well she's downstairs, go ahead." She said and I nodded. I walked downstairs and it was a basement with a table in the middle for the counsel.

" Maggie?" I said and I heard shuffling than I saw her face.

" Hey Paige! And Judith. What brings you here." Maggie asked and sat down. I sat down by her and she took Judith.

" Didn't want Carl talking to me, and Rick said I could come here. Sooo... Here I am!" I said and she smiled. I really feel bad for Maggie cause she lost her family. Beth was closest to her. I love Beth and miss her to death but I wanna try to fill her place so Maggie don't feel so lonely.

" Well I appreciate you coming. But I really need to get to work." She said and handed me back Judith. I nodded and she got up and went into the back room.

" Maggie?"

"Yes"

" Love Ya." She smiled.

" Love you too darlin'" she said and I walked out.

Carl's POV

I came downstairs to look for my watch. I saw Paige sitting in the living room so I thought to ask her.

"Paige" she cut me off.

"Going to visit Maggie." She said and walked out.

Stupid! You guys broke up of course she doesn't want to talk to you. I wasn't cheating on on her. I was following Edin. But she doesn't know that and she won't give me the time of day to tell her.

I walked upstairs and into her room.

" There it is." I mumbled to myself and walked up to her dresser. I grabbed my watch and was about to leave, but stopped. I saw a book on her bed and grabbed it. One sentence broke me.

• he didn't only bruise my arm. He also bruised my heart•

I thought back to last night when I grabbed her arm. I put the book down and started angrily pulling my hair. She thinks your a monster.

" Carl what are you doing in here!" Paige yelled with Judith in her hands.

" I.. I looking for my watch." I said and held it up.

" Well now that you found it. Leave." She said and walked to her bed and sat Judith down.

" Paige can we talk. Please." I said and she looked at me.

" You have 2 minutes."

Paige's POV

Carl nodded and sighed.

" I wasn't cheating on you. I saw Edin climb over the wall so I followed her. I lost her than when I started walking back she started walking back with me. I don't like her! Paige I love you, and if I loose you I loose myself." He said and I wanted to cry. I blinked the tears away and nodded.

" Will you take me back?" He asked and I shook my head no.

" Let's go back as friends, and see where we go from there." I said and he nodded. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I hugged back.

" Thank you." He whispered and I nodded.

" Paige, I'm so sorry I did that to you." He said and held my wrist in his hand. I shook my head and he nodded and left.

" Hey Carl can you watch Judith. I'm going to go talk to someone." I said and he nodded and walked back in my room.

I walked out of the house and down the road to Jessie's. I knocked on her door and she answered.

" Hey Paige. Come in." She said and I smiled and walked in.

" How are you doing sweetie?" She asked as I sat down on her couch.

" Fine. What about you?" I asked and she knew what I was talking about. She sighed but didn't cry.

" It's getting better." She said and her face became pale.

" Don't lie to me Jessie." I said and grabbed her hand.

" It's getting worse. He comes home every night a-and .. I can't." She said and began crying again.

" Hey it's okay. Rick will handle it. Do you want me to tell him? I can do when no ones around." I asked and she thought for a minute than nodded.

" It will get better soon. I promise." I said and she nodded and whipped her face.

"Mom?" i think that was Sam, and she stood up.

" Yes Hun?" She asked and I opened the door. I waved and she did back as I left. I walked down the road and I stopped a few people.

" Excuse me. Do you know where Rick grimes is?" I asked and a woman pointed.

" Thank you!" I said and ran over to him. He was talking to a man until he saw me.

" Rick." I said and he walked over to me.

" Paige. Are you alright? Whats wrong?" He asked and I looked around to make sure no one was listing.

" Pete is abusing Jessie." I said and his eyes grew big." You have to help her."

" I will. But how's you and Carl." He said as we sat down in a bench.

" We decided to stay friends for a while and see where we go." I said and he nodded.

" That's good and I'll talk to Jessie tomorrow. It's getting late you should go home and sleep." He said and I nodded and left.

When I got to the house I told everyone goodnight and went to bed.