"Everything for you..."

"You don't have to"

I have always been writing journals , it's kind of a habit now . But since I have been getting flashbacks of my memory , I am trying to write everything that's possible for me to remember what happened in those years.
I have been getting flashbacks like nightmares since a month now , I remember some part of it and trying to remember most of it. I have not told Naitya about it because I don't want him to worry about me. I can handle this much . I think.
As I was writing in my journal about my recent memory flashback , I remembered that I might be having more journals at my mothers place and they might be having the story behind everything I wanted to know . I Wanted to remember everything again . To feel every memory again. I know we can create new memories again . But reliving the memories that you don't remember , that's a different thing.
I decided to go to my mothers place to check the journals and collect them so that I can read them again .
I could hear Naitya from the kitchen . And I decided to not to tell him that I was going to collect my journals.
I could smell breakfast . As I entered the kitchen I could see him making pancakes. He turned towards me .
"I was making pancakes, and I want you to eat before you leave."
I smiled and took my seat. One thing I absolutely love about Naitya was he never used to ask me where I was going . Never. I could feel he knew either I would tell him or he just trusted me a lot to even ask that.
"I am going to my mothers place." I looked at him while he was bringing my pancakes.
He nodded.
"That's nice, I can meet her too."
"No , I am going alone and you're going to the hospital." I didn't look at him while I could feel his eyes on me when I said that .
" Yes you're absolutely right , but I can take out time to meet my 'The most favourite person' once in a while." He smiled.
I stood up , walked towards him .
"So , she's your favourite person now?"
"Most Ankita , she's my most favourite . Don't forget the 'Most' ." He smiled still not looking at me.
"Oh really ?"
"Of course, she made you, why will she not be my most favourite ?" He looked at me and kissed my cheek.
I pushed him lightly and he laughed.
We finished our breakfast .
Again, of course, he won . He went to drop me off at my mothers place and met her. I will not deny the fact that he has a better bond with my mother. It doesn't mean I don't have a great bond . What I mean is Naitya is easy to talk to and my mother loves someone who knows the way out with words . The only thing my mother dislikes about Naitya is that he hardly takes out time to meet her.
I walked him back outside .
He hugged me.
"I will come to pick you up." His arms were around my waist.
"You don't have to." I looked at him.
"I know I don't have too , I know . I even know I don't have to love you because you love yourself just enough to be loved by someone else , Ankita." He held my face in his hands , leaving only two inches of gap between our face.
"But I want to love you , so just let me."