"Everything for you..."

My dear Naitya

"Ankita , you're next ..."
"I will come by in sometime."

So , it's been around two months since then. Here I am sitting writing a letter , probably my last letter to Naitya . I have accepted the fact that he will never love me but I will love him . Always . I took my journal out and started ....

My Dear Naitya,
My time with you has always been so precious to me . Each and every moment . So endearing. You made me realise that love is easy , you can love people in your life . But what's difficult is loving them with their flaws, knowing that these are the things you can never change about them. I know you can never forgive me . I know you can never love me the way you did . These words are just for you to know . And I want you to know the truth .
Yes, I killed her , but it was never my intention. I genuinely don't remember any part of those 2 years. I was never faking any of it . In past 2 months I have been getting flashbacks of it . Of that night. When Mansi died.
I love Mansi , I still miss her . I know I can never make her come back but I do , I really do miss her . But I love you more Naitya.
It was the night we were coming back after meeting you for the first time. I could see how much you cared about Mansi . You loved her . And I wanted that. I wanted you to care about me like you cared about Mansi . I wanted you to look at me like I was the only thing in the world for you . I wanted you . I knew somewhere or the other that your love for Mansi was purely platonic . I could figure out . But when I saw Mansi . She was not reciprocating it in the platonic way . When we were coming back that night , I asked her as to know whether she likes you or not .
"I don't like him , I love him since I had known him . And I will confess . Just pray for me."
I still remember her smiling face . Her sparkling eyes.
Those were her words. I hated it . I hated the fact that she will confess it to you and make you hers. I never wanted it .
We were in the car. I bent towards her side to grab the water bottle which was kept on her side and opened the car down intentionally . I pushed her. Intentionally . And I think karma was seeing all of this happening . Right when I pushed her , she held my arms and took me with her . I went across the road but she was still in the middle . A truck came by and I blacked out . That's when I knew I killed her.
Naitya , I know I was wrong . I realise . But when I was pushing her , she had tears in her eyes as she said .
"You love him , don't you?"
"I will never look at him Ankita . Please don't do this ."
And I pushed her.
I hardly remember anything after it . And Now all I  remember are the flashbacks of that night.
I still love you Naitya and will keep loving you forever.

Love ,
Ankita

I heard a knock on the door .
"Ankita, are you ready?"  She was half heartedly smiling at me.
I looked at her.  Gave her the letter with the address and name written on it .
"Yes doctor I am."

                                      The end