one shots / Slaxl

My Last Goodbye

  It's time for me to leave. I don't feel like it's my place here anymore. I used to love this band. It's my baby and I'm sorry for leaving my baby but it's time to go. I stayed in my hotel room last night thinking about if I should stay or if I'm doing a mistake but the last thought I had was to leave. We finished our last show from the tour, I was nervous because I needed to confess this to my other baby, the love of my life. I waited an hour until he finally came. When he did he gave me a soft kiss on my lips then on my neck and was going down on my chest, I moan, no, no I can't do this, I need to tell him

   " Baby stop " I said. He looked confused

  " But now we can finally make some good love, the tour is over, tomorrow we will go home and I'm sorry that I came here later than you said, I talked with our managers about the next album and some ideas that I have"

  "Stop, don't think about the next album " I said now staying at the edge of the bed

  " What? Why ?" asked him confused but calm

  " I... I will be very serious about this " I said not looking him in the eyes

  " What's wrong baby?" said him getting in his knees in front of me. He put his hands on my legs

  " Ax... I thought about it over and over again and I decided that I'm leaving  "

" You're leaving what? " asked him having no idea what I was talking about

" The band Axl, I'm leaving the band"

  " Look me in the eyes when you're telling me this"

  " I can't look at you "

   " But why Slash? Why?" said him moving away from me

   " Because I can't do it anymore. This isn't our band, it's yours. I don't have fun here anymore, I hate that I'm not seeing Izzy and Stevie with us. It's not that good energy now, I'm always on drugs or I'm drunk . You're not fun to be around anymore."

" So... You're leaving me too ? "

  " I don't want to baby but it's the only way I can finally be happy  "

" I'm not making you happy anymore? "

" I- I didn't mean to say that, you know... Fuck  " I finally looked at him and he had tears in his eyes

" I guess all those promises you told me were just lies "

" Don't cry please  " I go in front of him and when I try to hug him, he made steps back

" Don't you touch me! You said you will never leave me, you said you can't never leave the band and now that's what you're doing "

" But I'm tired baby, I'm tired of your behavior, I'm tired of singing the same shit every night, I'm tired of having a secret relationship with you, I'm so tired of everything  "

" I can fix it, you know I can "

" But I don't want you to. I need space and new people around me. I need to start something new and I wanna do it with Duff  "

" With Duff ? Is he leaving too? "

" Probably yes, I'm sorry baby "

" No your not ! I hate you with all my heart ! I hate the way you made me fall in love like a fool and now you're leaving me , I hate you ! Fuck you Slash !  " screamed him at me

  " Ax... It's your fault, you push people away from you, when they are getting close to finally see this kind, carrying guy that I knew.. you make them leave " Axl just looked at the window so I continued

" You're not the Axl I used to know. The Axl I fell in love with . The money and the people around you changed you so much "

" No they didn't. You liked me more when I was poor and I wasn't eating three days in every week so I can save money ? You liked me more when I was doing drugs with you and Izzy ? Or when I was drinking with you and Duff ? "

" It's not that. The Axl I feel in love with wasn't selfish and arrogant. The young Axl I knew had these demons that you still have, but he always tried to fight them not like you. The Axl I knew wanted the same thing as me. Wanted Guns N' Roses with his best friend since childhood, me, Steven and Duff... not other formulas  "

  " Axl, I suggested to you that you should see a therapist when you were in those depressing episodes but you didn't wanted. I tried to find someone to come at our home for you but you just wanted to lay in bed. I tried to help you with your problems but you didn't appreciated my help so I'm done "

" You don't understand the way depression and bipolar disorder work and you will never will  " said him standing in a chair

" Yeah I don't but at least I tried to help you  "

" So what? What do you want to say ? That I didn't helped you when you overdosed ? That I didn't helped you when you couldn't walk straight ? What I didn't took care of you when you were sick? I was there for you too more than you were for me ! "

" I know you helped me Axl.. oh fuck I'm done here, I don't want to continue this. Tomorrow I will take everything I need from our house, you can go find another guitarist " I said standing up and going to the door

" Nobody can replace you " said him like a whisper

" Someone will one day " I said not looking at him

" No, it will not "

" You are better off without me "

" You know I can't make it on my own... "

" Of course you can, you came to LA on your own, you started bands without me and you're Axl fucking Rose.. "

  " But I don't want to do it  without you Saul... "

  " You have to... now it's my time to go, goodbye Billy " I said opening the door. Before I close it I hear a sob from him. Yeah he started crying really loud and it broke my heart but I can't go back in cause I will never be able to leave him again