open when letters

Open when you want to know more about me :)

Well i think i'm probably just gonna give you like my whole life story because that seems like fun and even though i've told you heapsss i haven't told you everything so i'm gonna tell you here :)

Well as you know i'm Estonian on my Mum's side, My mum is the youngest child out of 3 (now 2). I'm Aussie on my Dad's side, He's the youngest out of 15 so thats a cute little fun fact about my parent's.

My parents meet through mutual friends when they were 19 but started dating when they were 20. Two years later they decided to have kids and then boom here i am 2005 baby! It wasn't all smooth sailing though, i was placed into the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) because i was born early, thank god for the NICU though because i #died like five times but its ok its ok i'm here and that's all that matters.

I remember my first pet, an Aussie bulldog named Bruce. Although i don't really remember much about him because it was such a long time ago and i was so young, i do remember that he was the sweetest dog ever a very protective one too which leads me to this story i'm about to tell you. It was just a normal day at our house i was about 3-4 at the time and i was out the front with bruce just chilling on the cement near our front door eating a fruit cup. Mum had called me inside for who knows what reason so i got up to go inside and as i stepped up on the stair in front of the door, Bruce came right up to me and completely knocked me over. I'm very lucky nothing bad happened though because we were right on the concrete. I remember Mum being SO mad at Bruce for that even though it wasn't his fault, Dad always used to hype up Bruce when we were coming in and out of the house especially when Dad would take him for walks. Dad also always gave Bruce food he wasn't supposed to have so because i was holding food of course Bruce wanted some so best believe when that fruit cup went flying that was the first thing he ran to. Mum was super mad about that whole thing though so we ended up having to give him to my Grandpa on my Dad's side, I've never really had any relationship with my Grandpa other than the occasional 5 minute visits we used to have. I was a lot closer with my Grandma on my Dad's side, She was the sweetest soul and i miss her very much. She was the biggest Parramatta Eels fan i have literally ever met, you walked up the stairs in her house and the very first room you stepped into was COVERED in Eels merchandise of course she had to have them signed too, so as a kid i was the biggest Parramatta Eels fan not only because she supported them but my Grandpa on my Mum's side did too. Not long after this, my parent's split up for the first time.

Apparently i didn't even really know that they had split because Mum would always just play it off and make up some excuse. I'm not really sure when they got back together after this, but when he first left he got into a relationship with another girl that lasted about 6 months. This was encouraged by his family, his family always said he was too young to be a Dad and that he should be out partying and sleeping with girls. The whole time he was with Mum his family was encouraging that cheating behaviour which in the end made my Mum hate his family and i don't blame her. There are a lot of fucked up things and stories about that side of the family which is why i never really saw them, still to this day i haven't met even half of Dad's brothers and Sisters.

I hadn't seen my Grandma (Dad's side) in years, mainly because my Dad didn't have a very good relationship with her but i had made a lot of memories with her before she passed away in January last year. As a kid, she would always tell me i could be whoever i wanted to be and it was ok if i didn't like things other people liked. She always used to buy me the cutest little gifts which were mainly stuffed animals which is why as a kid when we lived in an apartment for a little bit my bed was FULL of stuffed animals and when i say full i mean FULL it got to the point where you literally couldn't even see my bed anymore, if i can find a photo i will show you. In January of last year, My Aunty Kerry reached out to let us know Grandma had passed away and that was a very hard time for me, not being able to go see Kerry or any other member of Dad's side of the family was probably the hardest part. Although, Grandma did leave me with one last thing. Throughout her final days she would talk to Aunty Kerry about how much she missed me and how much she loved me, there was one song she would listen to when she wanted to think of me and that song was You're Beautiful by James Blunt. I would give anything to have been more present in her life while she was still here but there's nothing i can do about that now.