Orion's Belt

The Absence Of Reason

The words I wish I could scream to me
Are stuck in my throat, aching like cold
On the warmest summer day of being.
I'm sick of myself and being all alone
In this dark nothingness that's my soul.

Floating in a dark ocean on a storm
My despicable being has been cursed
By the absence of reason from my heart
Even if inside me there's another ocean
With another soul trying not to drown.

I'll fight to death and I'll lose for sure,
Let the cold embrace my body for good
Because I can't speak about anything
More than I already did in burnt words
My fingers full of ashes and dry blood.

What it was in the past, is, or will be,
Everything will accompany me now
In the freezing ground that's hunting
For my aching soul and deadly wounds 
Ready to envelop my life in its eternity.

To speak up about now feels so hard.
I'm drinking from the cup of sorrows
And it scratches my throat like glass
Leaving only blood taste in my mouth,
But I have to do it to feel something.

I'm rotten inside with each part of me
That's slowly falling down on the sand
In my absurd hourglass of existence
Left without an actual voice to speak
About the horrors of this mad world.

My soul is empty, so is my aching heart
As I'm now expecting my eternal death
To quickly follow my decomposed self
Into what are the deadly waters of hell.
One beating heart trying to live in a corpse.