Transitions of a lost soul

(Chapter 23: My final goodbye....)

Chris has been trying to contact me ever since I kicked him out and I've completely ignored him. I don't know why he thinks everything is gonna go back to normal after what he confessed. I should've had him put away for what he did, but fear kept me from doing so. My friends tried to talk to me as well as my job and I dismissed them all. I needed time alone from everyone...I needed to properly grieve on Brandon's death now that I knew the truth. I decided to go to his gravesite today...I never said goodbye or gave a proper sendoff to him once he died. I went to the cemetery and his grave was far away from the gate, it was covered in nothing but dying roses...it gave me indication that no one has been here for a while.

I left a black rose in front of it and kneeled there for a second. " Brandon...though we had a rocky ending and you treated me badly with no explanation as to why, no one deserves to have their life taken away so gruesomely. I did love you once upon a time, please rest and rest peacefully." My body shook after I said my statement. I got up and I felt a presence but no one was there. Maybe it was his spirit...he can rest now that I know why he's gone. This was our final closure, though it wasn't how I wanted it to be. I leave the cemetery and make my way back home.

I drove back home, tears streaming down my face that couldn't come out before I left. I didn't think this would hurt as much as it did...but I would be lying if I said I did not love Brandon enough to see him go. Chris thought he was protecting and helping me...but all he did was make my emotions sink into the deep end and I couldn't forgive him for that. Murder will never make a bad situation better, two wrongs don't make a right. I just wanted to forget Chris, forget that I was ever with him or met him. I just wanted all this to feel normal again.

I came home and decided to let everyone know what's been going on, excluding Chris's confession. Messages were coming back to back and I became overwhelmed trying to answer them all. I laid on my bed for hours, thinking and thinking until my thoughts swallowed me whole. I never thought I would experience anything like this in my life, you would think these events belonged in a movie. The only positive to this is that I can lay my anxiety to rest over Brandon and his demise. Now I have one obstacle left to face..letting go of Chris for good and wiping him out my memory forever.