The Perfect Embodiment (An Aleksi Kaunisvesi Story)

(35) We Got Issues

Lilith

Aleksi has been waking up with nightmares, these couple of nights. Cold sweat, I had to comfort him for a few night.

"Aleksi what's the matter?" I whisper while placing a tender kiss on his forehead.

"I keep dreaming that you won't remember me and you'll go back to Tyler or Tommi." Aleksi whispers, I stroke his black hair away from his face. I placed sweet kisses on his forehead. I gave him a tender kiss on the lips.

The next day at work was stressful, I sat with Liz during lunch.

"What's wrong Lilith?" Liz asks me and I sighed.

"It's Aleksi, he keeps waking up with nightmares saying I'll forget him again. Did it affect him that much?" I whispered to my red haired friend and she sighs.

"Yes Lilith he was losing it. I'm not sure how you weren't." My red haired said to me. I looked at her and glanced down.

"You think I did that on purpose, that I forgot him on purpose! I didn't mean too okay it happened. You think it was easy watching the sadness huh? It wasn't." I said with a sigh, and dump my food out. I barely touched anything. I needed a smoke.

I grabbed my Marlboros and a lighter and shove the cigarette in my mouth and started puffing away on the cancer stick. I slid down the brick wall and sighed. I smashed the cigarette under my Valentino heels and got out a strip of gum and walked inside. I sprayed my perfume and sat behind the desk and did work.

I saw Liz and Joel being so close, he picked her up. I decided to check on my car and I decided to get a white BMW now. I didn't want Aleksi to be driving me around consistently.

I watched for Aleksi to pick me up, I sat in the car while we were both silent. Something seemed off with him. Maybe he doesn't want to be with me anymore.

My Valentino heels clicked against the floor while we both stood in silence leaning against the mirror, Aleksi would glance at me and then look away. I pulled my black hair out of it's ponytail. I leaned my head against the mirror.

Aleksi opens the door and I put down my bag and take off my heels. Rilla rushes over to Aleksi and then to me.

"Hi baby girl!" I said while picking her up, and giving her little face kisses. Aleksi was in a mood, so I decided to leave him alone. I had written a song during my amnesia period which I shared with my band members.

I emailed them the lyrics and the boys would be meeting with me, so we could get to recording our new album.

I begin to strip out of my work clothes, Aleksi walks into the room still not saying a word to me.

"Seriously Aleksi what the fuck is the matter with you? Ever since my memory has come back you've been acting weird!" I yelled at him, standing in my bra and underwear and I pulled on his jumper.

"Fucking drop it Lilith!" Aleksi yells at me. We were standing in front of each other, I knew it he didn't want this anymore.

"Fine Aleksi. Goodnight!" I said storming out of the room. I felt guilty that I forgot him, I took a seat on the balcony. The dreaded balcony where everything crashed and burned. God was loving someone this hard? I sat on the balcony with the full moon with my black journal on my lap, dressed in Aleksi's shirt and I started writing a couple of songs.

I felt a tear steam down my face, it landed on my journal. I sighed, while I let my black hair cover my face. The guilt I felt for forgetting Aleksi! I hated myself, I took out some Marlboros from my bag and with shaky hands lit up my cigarette and smoked. Letting the smoke leave my lungs, I sighed deeply.