The Class Game

Chapter 15-Goodbye and Hello

The car ride is long. Quiet. Although the house is only like ten minutes away from the hospital, it feels like hours. My heart aches of loneliness. I wish Chris was here to caress my skin with affection, to make the pain go away. I completely forgot that Tucker was even in the car. His silence is unlike him, causing me to shift in the passenger seat.

"Mom?" I whisper.

"Yes?"

"What do I do?" I say below my breath. Just enough so she could hear me. I stare out the window. Never looking at her as I wait for her to respond. The rays of the sun shine upon my face like the first day ever created. The rays treat me like I'm mother nature. Now, I don't have my knight.

"There's nothing you can do now. He's gone." I know thats the truth in this case. The thing is, what kind of mother would say that to me? I understand the fact that its honesty. I personally think sometimes being candor is not always the answer.

Her answer swallows me whole. Drags me into the depths of the black abyss where I know I've been heading. Where I know I will eventually give up. I need to see him. I need to feel him. I need to be with him, forever. Something is there. He's calling me.

When that thought comes into my mind and slips, my stomach twitches. It turns over. That's what it is. He's still here. I feel it inside my soul.

A smile creeps to my face. I start to laugh with my head tilted back.

My mom glares over at me. Confusion fills her face.

"Samantha?"

"Just hurry and get to the house!" I state between giggles.

She picks up the pace. She follows what I said and doesn't even question why. Now that she begins to drive more than about ten miles per hour, we make it home within minutes. We pull up into the driveway and I'm the first out of the car and I rush to the door. It's locked.

"Mom? Come on."

She tosses me the keys from a few yards away. I begin to unlock the door. This is it.

"Samantha, your suddenly happy. He's not in the house. He's de-"

Before she has the chance to finish her sentence, I'm through the door. I didn't listen to a thing she mumbled. I head down the hall and towards my room. I don't bother to turn on my light. I slam the door and lock it. No one will be coming in. I'm going home.

I slowly walk over to my side table where the small jewelry box sits. It's so fragile, but what lays inside is beyond powerful. The gem.

I take it out and rest it onto my bed. Rays shine through my window onto my bed. The gem glistens in the sunlight, as the sun sets outside. The sun is setting in the game. I'm ready.

This is it. This is the only way I can imagine his presence at all. I will go to our home. I'll smell him there. I'll imagine him making coffee again. I'll feel his arms around me as I sleep. He might not be there for others to see, but he is with me. My memories with him remain strong. I can relive them if I want. Everything will be back to normal. I'll feel him everywhere in this game, which was his second home. I have to do this, just to imagine the love we could have had. I don't care if it breaks me more.

I stare at the gym, completely zoning out within seconds. My vision turns white. Blurriness everywhere along with the copper and silver stars. My breathing calms. My eyes roll into the back of my head as a weight is lifted from my shoulders. Denseness of water surrounds me. I open my eyes.

I'm more aware of this all now. The fact I'm mother nature in this game helps me see what I supposedly created. The green moss floats in the blue water. The red reflection of the sun setting shines unlike ever before. It's never been this beautiful. Maybe it has, I was just to blind to see it. I begin to paddle my feet slowly, making my way to the top. My face breaks the surface. I tread water for a moment, just to take this in. I don't plan on coming back after this one visit.

I step onto the wooden dock, and turn around to look at the water once again. My dress clings to my side with dampness. My hair is slick with water. My skin soaks in every light shining. I close my eyes.

The sound of metal. Clinging. I knew my imagination would go haywire. I stay relaxed with my eyes closed trying to calm myself down. It doesn't fade away. Instead it grows closer. I open my eyes and sigh. I turn around, staring at my feet.

Then, someone clears their throat.

I slowly lift my head up.

The clinging was the clinging of armor. The clearing of a throat was from a man.

There he stands.

I was coming to visit him in my heart. Not through my eyes. He stands before me alive and well. He smiles that grin of his. Tears swell into my eyes. I begin to smile and cry at the sight of him again. His every flaw and every beauty has never seemed so perfect. He stands with his hands folded behind his back.

"Samantha." his voice says. My stomach turns over like it did in the car. The sign.

"Chris?" I whisper walking towards him.

I stand before him. I feel his breaths against my face as he looks down at me. This is real. He's here.

"I've been waiting for you to come home." he says without hesitation.

My eyes are big and full of tears. I can feel them running down my face.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm here now." he whispers as he wipes the tears from my cheek and holds my face, caressing my skin.

"But your dead. Gone." I reply as I look into his eyes to see if this is real.

"Out there I'm gone, but I will forever be in here. This is where I belong. Where I will spend all eternity."

"Without me?" I question.

"I planned on spending it with you." he says as he meets my eyes.

"And how is that?" I state with curiosity.

"Well, we'll just have to see won't we?"

His answer replays in my mind as I try to think of what he means. I know I will eventually die, but something tells me I wouldn't spend eternity in here. I guess we will have to find a way to defy my destiny.