The Class Game

Chapter 11-It Was Never Just A Game

I never realized what it would feel like to be lost. Empty.

Now i understand completely.

I rush fast away from Chris's hospital room and go back to my own. By this time, nurses are probably coming in and freaking out over me not being plugged up to all those chords.

I walk in and surprisingly, not a soul is found in there. I lay down on my stiff hard bed. I sigh of stress and worries. They seem to fall out of my mind, but then more settle on my shoulders. I place my hands at my sides, laying on my back flat. I lay stiff as a board,just like my bed. Finally, i close my eyes. I can finally breathe.

I can feel my brain going into a mist of sleep when im awoken by a cry so loud down the hall, that i stir to my feet. I must have actually been asleep for quite some time because i feel as if ive slept through a century. I wipe my eyes and listen again for another cry. It comes louder this time. Now, its more of a piercing scream. Its a woman's scream. Like the ones you hear when the guy with the axe comes running out at full force. Yeah. That scream.

My body tenses at the screams that send chills up and down my whole body and cause the hair to stand on end. I slowly walk to my doorway. The cold tiled floor weighs heavily under my feet like snow. Hard freezing snow. Air comes up my gown and makes me even more cold along with the piercing screams coming from the distant.

I lean my head into the hallway. I look to my right and my left as if i am about to cross a road. The screams come bursting from my right. This time they end in stiffled sobs. Like the mouth has been muffled that has been making the dreadful sounds.

I slowly make my way down the hall with my curiosity overwhelming me by the minute. Maybe someone needs my help. Or anyones help. I could help? Right?

But as i reach the half way point of the hall, i realize these sobs are not coming from a patient but from a visior visiting a loved one. I hear the sobs fading into heavy breaths like im approaching closer. Then, i take a left from the hall im walking in. The first door on the right, And i see the lady. Shes crying over a young man's body. Shes covering her mouth as she has her eyes closed, and yet she still remains holding his hand.

A continuous beep sounds loudly. The straight line on the heart monitor runs continuously, never a bump along the line. I stand there, witnessing this horrying scene. Nurses rush in and out of the room as i stand in the doorway. My eyes become overtaken by tears. My mouth opens as if i might be about to scream, yell, or just cry. Maybe even say just a word. But i only choke on my own lump in my throat and try to swallow the pain that doesnt seem to subside.

"CLEAR!" they scream as they try to shock him back to life. The lady never lets go. She just crys and squeezes his hand like she is the one who is dying.

And i stand there. Hand over my mouth, my hair ruffled, and my bare feet cold. Im not even able to cry. Im to hurt for even that. My stomach turns over with sadness and disappointment at myself. This is all my fault.