Chapter 54 - Holding on to the past

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⚠️Mentions of drug misuse and alcohol abuse⚠️

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⚠️Mentions of drug misuse and alcohol abuse⚠️

I sit on Vincenzo's lap, he brings the covers over us, making sure I'm comfortable.

"Take your time baby." He kisses my head.

"I'll tell you the whole story, if you're willing to listen."

"Seriously?" He smirks. "I could listen to your beautiful voice all fucking day."

"You mean that?"

"Fuck yes. And if you want to cry, I'll hold you." This man is making me fall in love with him all over again. "And if you want to punch something, I'm here." He says, making me laugh.

"Is it possible to fall in love with someone all over again?"

"If it is I'd fall in love with you every fucking time." He stays between kisses.

"Ok." I sigh. "When the Russians kidnapped me and my mamma, they put both of us in a cell with nothing but a single mattress and a small bathroom in the corner and the only light came from a small bulb hanging from the ceiling. These soldiers bought clothes for us every few days." He stays silent looking at me with concern. "A few times a month, my mamma would get taken away from me and... uh." I look down at my lap in shame.

"It's ok. You don't have to tell me."

"No no, it's not that I don't want to tell you, I just don't want to remember, I just want to let everything out."

I've been holding on to my past for way too long.

"Ok, take your time." He soothes my back.

"I was left alone with one or two other soldiers and they..." I stifle a sob. "They would take advantage of me." I feel his hand still on my back. I couldn't say the word 'rape'. "Then when my mamma came back into the room her face would be red and her face drenched with tears. I stayed on the bed unable to move, then she would help clean me up, she would sing me her lullaby to put me to sleep. But I never slept, I was too scared to. That went on for months." I could tell he has so many questions right now.

"Then I met my grandfather. My mamma begged him to let us go but he didn't listen. He made me watch as he shot my mamma. I held her body for a couple of days. I was numb, I just wanted everything to end." I sob. "I almost ended it until you came to rescue me, even then I was relieved that you held that gun to me."

"Even then I wouldn't have hurt you. I'm so sorry Jasmine. We didn't know about anything that was going on."

"I'm just happy you got me out of there."

"I just wished that I saved you sooner. I failed you back then but I'm never going to fail you ever again."

"When you brought me back home, the doctors ran tests, and one test they had to do was a pregnancy one. I didn't want to see anyone because I was so ashamed. Then I found out I had a... miscarriage." That was when my heart shattered. "Only a few people know about that."

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