A week had past and i was settled in my new room which was downstairs, beacuse soon i wouldnt have the enrgy to climb the stairs.
I started my first chemo which went alright i guess, the nurse told me that my hair would start to thin straight away and that it will eventually start to fall out in the next few weeks, i was scared about this, not for me, but for the boys they are so young and i dont think they fully understand how ill i was and how much worse im going to get.
Ramin left les miz, luckily the productin company understood as we all knew each other from when i did les miz in london and was distraught to hear about my illness. he has been such a good friend always helping me get up and getting me stuff (that i could do, but he would tell me to sit back down) he truelly is my best friend and i love him (friendly of course) and mandy was such a good sport. at first i was worried that she would start to get paraniod and would think we had feelings over each other. she does get a little bit paranoid sometimes obviously because of our shipname for the fans "rierra" which make this awkward because Ramin and I know that we flirt with each other but we do it in a friendly way and mandy knows that. but i do feel bad for them because they love each other with so much passion but everytime they show it in public our fans just start up "rierra" we obviously love our fans to death but it does fustrates me to think they would even think of me and ramin in that way.
As the next 2 weeks goes past my hair started to fall out so i shaved it, i lost a lot of weight which made me feel unhappy and unattractive, 'no wonder why simon left me, he probery knew i would turn out this way'. i start to become depressed and i would cry myself to sleep most nights i try to keep them silent but the thought of death upon me makes me scream and Ramin comes running down the stairs to comfort me. one night i had a nightmare, it was a calander with the date we are on now and then the date changes as the days came and went and then it came the day i will die and in big black letters it wrote 'your doomsday', i woke up screaming and sweating i started to shake which caused me to have a panic attack, the next thing i knew was Ramins arms were around my waist holding me tight as i start to calm down i started to sob so ramin picked me up and carried me to the sofa and sat me on his lap i just layed my head into his chest, by this time mandy was half was down the stairs when she saw this but then heard me say 'im losing everything, im loosing my hair, my job, my family, my friends, im loosing my life Ramin im going to die in 10 months and 7 days from now" she then huried down the stairs and hugged me they both had tears in their eyes and both craddled me like i was their daughter (a baby) until i started to drift off, when i was half asleep i overheard mandy saying to ramin "im worried about her, she needs to live her life before you know", but then before i could hear ramin response i fell asleep.
the next day came and i was laying in mt bed when Ramin came into my room he knew i had been crying as my eyes were puffy and i was sniffing "sie, are you okay" he asked i saw he was worried about me and under my circumstances i decided to tell him the truth "no, honestly im not" "whats the matter" he asked so i proceeded "well first of all i have cancer then the doctors tell me im going ot diel in less than 12 months, oh simon left me because im ugly-" Ramin quickly interupted me "YOU ARE NOT UGLY!" he yelled which made me smil "thank you Ramin but just look at me im nothing but skin and bone i have no hair" "your beautiful too me" before i could say anything else he got up and gout his guitar and started singing 'you're beautiful' from james morrison which made me cry.
i decided that i was in this state to long and decided to get out of bed to have a shower, once i got out of the shower and dresses i went to the kitchen to see mandy, ramin and the boys at the table waiting for of course so i just sat down and ate breakfast in silent. it was awkwad cause hadley kept looking at me then my head he opened his mouth to say something but jaiden just kicked him under the table as he knew what he was going to say but thought it would be to insensative, i broke the silence "so i thought as mandy has work today and the boys doesnt have school, i thought we could take them out to a muesuem or something" the boys eyes filled with excitment "are you sure you are up to it sierra" ramin asked "yes, i need to spend time with the boys before you know" i looked over at the boys whos eyes were on me knowing they could hear "i leave for my trip next year" ramin finally agreed and we finished our breakfast and got dressed.
mandy and ramin kissed eachother goodbye she kissed the boys forehead and then hugged me ever so tight she seemed like she didnt want to let go but knew she had to, "goodbye, take care of sierra biys remeber sje is sick" mandy reminded they boys they just nodded their heads in acceptance.
It wasnt soon after mandy left we was heading towards the muesuem , it was a beautiful sunny day so we decided to walk there but didnt realised how dangerous that was for me and instead of going to the muesuem i would be rushed to hospital ..........
YOU ARE READING
A friendships tale (RIERRA A FANFICTION)
Fiksi PenggemarWhat's the first thing that comes into your head once you have been told 'you have cancer' how are you meant to react? Will you survive? Will people be there for you? My name is Sierra Boggess and this is my journey to the end.
