The River

IKATLONG KABANATA

TW: VIOLENCE

IKATLONG KABANATA

"Wala ka talagang kwentang asawa!" I flinched when I heard the echo from my dad's slap to my mom.

It's already midnight and I woke up because of my dad's shouting voice. He beat up my mom again like he used to do pagkatapos niyang malasing mula sa labas.

At the age of six, I already witnessed how cruel some people are. I witnessed how my dad do violence to my mom. I saw how my mom was beaten up like she's just kind of a punching bag. I saw how her fragile body accepted all the punches. I heard how she was begging for her life. I heard how she cried every night.

I covered my ears as my mom started to beg again. It pains me everytime she asks for forgiveness for the sin she didn't even commit. It pains me knowing that I can't do anything to protect her but cry in silence.

Nagsimula ang pambubugbog ng aking ama simula noong magloko ito. Sa tuwing iniiwan ito ng babae niya 'pag nalaman ng mga ito na may pamilya na siya, ay laging si mommy ang nakikita niyang may kasalanan. In his mind, he's not at fault but my mom.

My grip tightened nang makarinig ako ng pagbasag ng isang bagay at nasundan ito ng malakas na sigaw ni mommy. Gusto ko nang lumabas dito sa kwarto ngunit natatakot akong baka saktan din ako ni daddy. Gusto kong tulungan si mommy pero nakakatakot. Nakakatakot sa labas ng pintoang ito. Nakakatakot ang bahay na ito.

Ilang minuto rin ang lumipas bago natigil ang ginawang pananakit ni daddy. Narinig ko agad ang papaalis na sasakyan. Alam kong si daddy iyon, lalabas na naman at maghahanap ng bagong babae.

My mom's cries are now gone.

Dali-dali akong tumayo at kinuha ang first aid kit na nasa tabi ko lang kanina pa. Tinahak ko agad ang daan papuntang sala para hanapin si mommy. Nakita ko agad sa di kalayuan ang kanyang walang malay na katawan.

I cried silently as I gently put a cotton on her wounds and bruises. At a very young age, I already knew the purpose of a first aid kit. I already know how to properly use it on my mom's beaten body.

Tahimik kong pinagmamasdan si mommy na masayang namimitas ng mga bulaklak sa kanyang hardin. I still can't believe that a woman like mom, who's charming and caring can be hurt by her own husband.

Sobrang linaw pa rin sa akin ang masalimuot na kahapon na iyon. Na kahit sobrang tagal na ang mga itong nangyari, malinaw pa rin sa akin ang kanyang bawat pag-iyak.

And I can't forgive that man because of what he did to my mom. Hindi man nawala ang matamis na ngiti ng aking ina, ngunit ang lamat na binigay niya ay meron parin. Na kailangan pang uminom ni mommy ng sleeping pills para lang matakasan niya ang traumang ibinigay sa kanya ng asawa niya.

Hindi ko siya mapapatawad. Hinding-hindi. Dadalhin ko sa loob ng hukay ko ang mga kababoyan niya noon. I hate him so much to death.

"Did these flowers make her happy?" I heard her whisper as she stared at the bouquet of flowers she made.

"I liked it." I silently answered her question.

I give a glance at the house next door. It's been three days since me and Issar's misunderstanding happened. Sa tatlong araw na nagdaan ay hindi parin siya nagpaparamdam sa akin.

But I should understand him. Hindi lang naman sa relasyon naming dalawa umiikot ang kanyang mundo. Hindi lang naman problema sa relasyon namin ang kailangan niyang hanapan ng solusyon.

Both of us have our own life to deal with. And we should not forget about that reality.

"Happy 9th birthday, Avonlea and Issar!" Everyone in front of us greeted in chorus.