TW: VIOLENCE
IKAAPAT NA KABANATA
That was what I thought. I thought dad would never lay a hand on my fragile little body. I thought he was going to ignore me since I'm still a kid. But all of those are just part of my thoughts. And I am wrong... Clearly wrong.
At the age of seven I already experienced how hurt it was to be beaten up by your own father. I already experienced what my mother had experienced with her abusive husband. I experienced the pain a child shouldn't have.
Napapikit ako nang biglang umikot ang buong paligid. My dad was beating me up... again. Since my mom wasn't here because she attended a business trip, sa akin na naman tinuon ng aking ama ang galit niya. He just came back from being drunk at sa akin niya lahat binuhos lahat ng frustration niya. I think he was dump again by his woman.
I cried silently as I welcomed all his frustrations. Ramdam na ramdam ko na ang pamamanhid ng buo kong katawan dahil sa sakit.
Bigla akong napahawak sa aking tiyan ng tadyakan niya ako. Gusto kong sumigaw sa sakit nang ang ulo ko na naman ang pinag-diskitahan niya... Pero wala na akong boses. Hindi ko na kaya ngunit alam kong wala akong kawala.
Gusto kong tumakas sa magulong pamamahay na ito ngunit wala akong ibang pupuntahan. Gusto kong iwan ang buhay ko rito sa bahay na ito ngunit hindi ko kayang iwan si mommy.
Ilang minuto ko ring tiniis ang bawat sakit na sanhi ng mabigat na kamay ng aking ama. Ilang minutong pinipigilan ang pag-iyak ng malakas sa takot na baka hindi niya ako tigilan sa pananakit. Ilang minutong nagtiis bago niya iniwan ang nanghihina at namamanhid kong maliit na katawan.
I took a deep-long breath as the fresh air kissed my cheek. One week has passed and my misunderstanding with Issar still isn't settled. We still haven't talked about it and I don't know what to do anymore.
It makes me insane.
My eyes widened as I roamed around my eyes. I can't believe that this beautiful river exists here in the middle of the woods and wide field.
This is the first time I've witnessed a soothing nature like this. This. This kind of relaxing place that doesn't exist in the city I was craving for years.
I close my eyes, spread my two arms, and feel the freshness of the cold-calming wind. This somehow helped me forget the agony that my own father caused me.
Until now, I still can't believe how our family ended up like this. We used to be happy. My parents used to be madly in love with each other. But in just a blink, everything changed upside down.
"Wow!" Bigla akong napadilat nang may biglang sumigaw na batang lalaki sa tabi ko, "Hindi ko alam na may magandang ilog pala rito." dagdag pa ni Issar habang nakabuka ang dalawang braso katulad ko.
"Anong ginagawa mo rito? Sinusundan mo ba ako?" Sunod-sunod kong tanong sa kanya. Binalingan niya ako habang may masayang ngiti sa mga labi, halos hindi ko na makita ang mga mata niya.
"Bago ka pa lang kasi rito kaya sinundan kita. Baka kasi mawala ka pa," Sagot niya, nakangiti at nakabuka pa rin ang mga braso.
"Hindi naman mahina ang memorya ko para makalimutan ang daan pauwi," Mataray kong ani. "At isa pa, hindi mo nga alam na may ilog pala rito. Paano ka nakakasiguro na hindi ikaw ang mawawala?"
"Hindi ako mawawala kasi iniiwanan ko ng mga bato ang dinadaanan ko."
Hindi ko na siya sinagot. Simula noong tinuruan ko siya kung paano laruin ang larong soccer, isang taon na ang nakaraan, ay buntot na siya sa akin nang buntot. Noong una ay naiirita ako sa kabaliwan niya, hanggang sa isang araw ay nasanay na ako sa presensya niya.
He's so persistent to be my friend. But I still didn't let him in my door. Even though he is patient. Even though the sincerity was there, I still don't have the bravery to let other people enter my life.
"And why are you still following me? Did you forgot our deal?" I broke the silence, "Dapat ay hindi mo na ako sinusundan ngayon dahil alam mo na kung paano mag laro ng soccer." dagdag ko.
Hindi niya ako sinagot. Tumingala lang siya, pinagmamasdan ang nagsasayawang dahon ng mga naglalakihang puno sa kabilang bahagi ng ilog. The smile on his face never fade.
"I am trying... to not follow you. I'm trying my best to stop pestering you. But I can't." He said those words almost in a whisper. "Kahit ilang beses mo akong insultuhin. Kahit ilang beses mo akong ipagtulakan. Gusto pa rin kitang maging kaibigan. Gusto ko pa ring... maging parte ng buhay mo."
I closed my eyes when someone hugged me from behind, letting the dreamy feeling dominate my whole system.
I missed him. I missed this. The soothing feeling from his hugs. His warmth always calms my doubtful mind.
His hugs became tighter than it is already. He rested his face from my neck. Dahil doon ay naramdaman ko ang mainit at banayad niyang paghinga. He kissed my cheek.
"I'm sorry." He whispered as his chin was now resting on my shoulder.
Hindi ako nagsalita at patuloy pa ring dinadama ang kanyang init. Hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan ko mararamdaman ang kanyang yakap at halik. Hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan na lang ang relasyon na ito.
"I'm sorry for everything that I've done," He kissed my temple. "I'm sorry for letting you suffer like this."
***
シ︎
YOU ARE READING
The River
Short Storycompleted (unedited) "Are you ready to accept the fact that you have to sacrifice your love for the sake of your freedom?" - As years pass by being in a relationship, Avonlea Pauner and Issar Lavisores keep it private. No one knows about their secr...
