𝟮 𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗨𝗦 𝟭. ❥ sungtaro.

March 28th

Shotaro was really trying to impliment what Taeil had said. He thought about it more himself, and it wasn't like crying about this for the next years of his life was going to bring back his child. They would end up moving on. Life would move them along, and it was going to be up to them to catch up. Even in five years, they'd probably have new kids to worry about.

Kids.

Shotaro hadn't completely ruled out the idea of kids after the miscarriage; well, maybe a bit at the beginning, but he was gaining faith in himself again. Jungwoo had been right when he remind Shotaro of how much he wanted kids. One lost obviously sucked, but he still had time. He was going to do with that time what he could to be better.

This was basically when Shotaro thought about sex. That was an inevitable piece of having children, and it was something that Shotaro... he still didn't exactly know where he stood with it. A small part of the back of his mind still blamed himself for the miscarriage, when it was just something that he wasn't even able to control. Blame didn't change anything. He had never been uncomfortable with his body, even now, but he was still uncomfortable with trusting his body.

Shotaro was starfished out on his bed, limbs all sprawled in different directions, when Sungchan walked into their room. He grinned when he saw how Shotaro was situated.. "Are you thinking?"

"Yes."

"That's all you seem to do these days, but I'm not complaining." Sungchan sat down on the edge of the bed, just about able to ruffle the older's hair. "What exactly are you thinking about this time?"

"Sex."

The smile on Sungchan's face fell. "And where is this thought process going?"

"It'll hopefully make me trust myself a little more."

"What do you mean?"

"You sound like Taeil," Shotaro joked, attempting to break the sudden ice that had appeared in the room, but Sungchan gave him a look that made it evident that it looked like he was trying to avoid conversation. "I'm not uncomfortable with myself, I just don't trust myself after the miscarriage. What if it happens again?"

"Than we work through it together," Sungchan answered. "Besides, I doubt that anyone's reached that level of unlucky before."

"I could do it," Shotaro deadpanned. "I totally would somehow reach that."

"Now don't talk like that." Sungchan ruffled his hair again. "I doubt it'll happen again."

Shotaro hummed, but he wasn't exactly paying attention to Sungchan any more. What even were the odds? He didn't know the statistics, but he knew that multiple miscarriages were pretty rare. And Sungchan was right. They could move past it again. The only thing was that Sungchan's mental strength was mushc stronger than Shotaro's and what if it ended up crumbling?

No, not the what-ifs. Shotaro grumbled, pressing his face into the soft blanket below him. It was rare. His case was already rare.

He was stronger than he was before.

***

been saying a lot of meaningless words ngl