Strawberries & Cigarettes (Teenlock)

VERSE 2

A/N: oops- *drops some angst* sorry about that...

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We have been dating a month now. It was amazing. You were charming, flirtatious, adventurous. I loved that you were so different from the other boys I knew. More of an adult while still doing things only teenagers would do.

Remember when you taught me fate

We just had our 8th date - yes I counted - at an italian place called Angelo's. You really never lost your sense for excitement: one moment you shared your meal with me and the next you were tracing my inner thigh with your fingers. You were a badass sweetheart and you knew I couldn't resist either side of you.

Now we were sitting together on a bench in Regent's park. It's the park from our first date and we ended up there after every other date. At some point we just called it 'our park'.

On this specific date night we were holding hands, stealing kisses, flirting and laughing - we talked all evening long and into the night. Just us, talking about everything and nothing. Somehow I ended up resting my head in your lap. It was nice even though it was a cold autumn night by now. A light shiver spread over my body.

Immediately you moved - taking off your jacket.
"Sherlock, what are you do-"

"Giving you my jacket, obviously."

I sat up a bit and protested, "You don't have to give me your jacket! I am really not that cold!"

You already put it over my shoulders, your hands firmly on them, keeping the clothing piece in place. "It's happening. Take it."

"Sherlock, why-"

I saw your mischievous grin looking down at me. "So I can make fun of you being so cold you needed my jacket at some point in the future."

"You utter-", but you cut me off with a kiss. Grabbing the back of my head you had pulled me to your delicious lips. Knowing they would shut me up.

When we parted, I laid my head back down. With your jacket over me. It smelled like you. You had this stupid irresistible grin on your face again, because you won the argument. Stupid, but beautiful.
I stared at your face while you looked into the stars. Admiring your lips, the flush on your high cheekbones, the glint in your eyes, the-

"I am glad fate brought us together.", you said, interrupting my super homosexual thoughts. Your hands were stroking through my hair. I loved every minute of this day. But fate bringing us together?

I scoffed, "Don't tell me you believe in fate!"

Your look became absent - fixed on something that wasn't there. "But I do."

I sat up, "If fate exists and it brought us together, what are we waiting for?! Why are we not telling everyone out there we are a thing?"

You smiled, still looking into the nothingness and-

Said, "It'd all be worth the wait"

I didn't understand. Why did we have to wait? What for? I was so fucking in love with you and proud of it, goddamnit! I wanted to show off my adorable, hot boyfriend!
But I leaned back with sigh and believed you. I believed your words, did not think too much about why you wanted to keep it secretive, knowing you were the smart one. I believed you. And I believed in us.

Like that night in the back of the cab

-that took us home. You insisted on dropping me off first. You always made sure I got home okay. Every time the cab only left when I was inside the house.
We were sitting in the backseat, my head on your shoulder. I breathed your smell in and I smiled-

When your fingers walked in my hand

Every "step" your fingers sent fire up my arm. With every step you made a promise for more - whispering in my ear. A promise of love, of a never-ending adventure, of a life together. If I just waited long enough.
We arrived at my house too early and as I got out you grinned at me. "Think of me, my dear Watson.", knowing darn well I thought of you all day every day. I just smiled and walked inside. Hoping to be dreaming of you...

Next day, nothin' on my phone

Not in the morning. Not at lunch time. Not in the afternoon or at night.
Every hour that went by my heart got heavier.
I looked at my lock-screen with your face on it. I looked at the texts you sent me last. There were always big gaps in between. You never texted back right away - sometimes days went by. This time it was the same. Not a single note from you all day long.
My love-fed fire dimmed. Leaving a smoldering pile of faith behind.

But I can still smell you on my clothes

Your heavy, sweet smell. It was on my jacket that I have worn - where your jacket was laying on top of mine. A faint but somehow intense smell. It made my brain fog up. I dug my nose into the spot that smelled most like you and inhaled deeply. A rush of longing hurt came over me.

Always hoping things would change

Hoping you would text. Hoping you would call. Hoping you would invite me to another date. Hoping you would introduce me to your family. Hoping you would at least let me introduce you to my family. Hoping for more. Hoping for you. Hoping for us. Hoping for fate.

But we went right back to your games

Your games of 'not yet'.
Your games of 'I'll text you five days after I read your messages'.
Your games of 'luring me back in with just one look'.
Your games of 'healing my heart after breaking it a dozen times'.

And foolish me fell for your games. Every. Single. Time.

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A/N: thank you for reading, my lovely turtles!
sorry this is a bit angsty...
votes mean way more than you might realize - so please leave one, bae <3

Do you wanna see a portrait of Benedict Cumberbatch, I drew? (I like to call it "Benefictional Cumberdoodle") 0just0be0yourself0 and jawnscoffee asked for it so here you go! Lmk what you think of it... I know it is not perfect but I decided to just be proud of it anyways...

Please don't share it anywhere without asking first 💚
-turtely🐢