"There's a word I found recently. Evanescence. It made me think of you. It made me think of us. Were we just a dream, Sebastian?"
TW : Key themes of suicide and trauma.
WARNING: This is Book Two. Please read "affluenza" first to avoid any spoilers...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
FOOTSTEPS BOUND DOWN the stairs and Roman appears, smiling widely at the two of us before catching eyes on my empty wine glass. "Ede, you can't just hand out wine to everyone. He's not even 21 yet."
"Yeah, yeah," Eden groans, grabbing the wine bottle and standing up. "I'm going to sleep. I figure you'll stay in Roman's room, but there's a guest bed as well, Braylen. Just down the hall. Night, boys."
She sashays away, standing on her toes to kiss Roman's cheek before disappearing from the kitchen. All too suddenly we're alone and I find myself wishing that Eden hadn't taken the wine with her when she left. Roman's eyes are on me, his shoulders slumped. It suddenly felt like all of these things made sense about him. Like I was seeing more of him than he's ever let me see before.
"Are you hungry?" he asks tentatively, breaking me out of my stupor. I watch him as walks into the kitchen, ruffling through the fridge looking for food.
"Not really," I admit. He stops searching and turns to me, running a hand over his head. "Rome?"
"Are you mad?" he asks, eyes turning down. He leans forward onto the counter just beside me, forcing his head to tuck close to his chest. "I just...I don't want you to be mad."
I raise my eyebrows in confusion. "Mad about what?" I press. "Roman, look at me."
He does, slowly. His eyes were pained, apprehensive. "You're really cut up about this," I notice, worry for him settling straight in my chest. "Rome, why would I be mad at you?"
"I don't know," he murmurs. "For not telling you, I guess."
A soft chuckle leaves my lips. "You're adorable." The words come out of my mouth before I can stop them and for once, I don't regret saying them. I want them to stay in the air between us, right where they belong. "Rome, I'm not angry with you. I swear."
He stares at me with a hesitant expression. Like he doesn't believe me. "Are you sure?" he whispers.
I breathe out a sigh before reaching out and grabbing his left hand, pulling him close to me until my back was pressed against the counter and he was pressed against me. Roman sighs loudly and I bring my hands to his face, caressing the soft skin on his face and placing a small kiss on his lips. His eyes lower to mine slowly. "We were kids," he starts, breathing softly. "I met Eden a few years ago. At my birthday party."
I nod, bringing my hands from his face to settle low on his hips. "I had just broken up with my first...everything," he mumbles. "I was heartbroken. I thought that the love of my life didn't want me anymore. And she shows up with her bright eyes and charm. And no one said it flat-out but sentences would trail off. 'Wouldn't it just be so great if you and Eden...?'
"She became one of my best friends pretty soon," he continues. "I was confused and sad and lonely and she was there for me. Through it all. And pretty soon my own brain started filling out those sentences. Because it would be great with Eden. It would be as easy as breathing with her. It would make my dad happy, it wouldn't make me gay, and maybe he'd actually be able to look at me at the dinner table."
