"There's a word I found recently. Evanescence. It made me think of you. It made me think of us. Were we just a dream, Sebastian?"
TW : Key themes of suicide and trauma.
WARNING: This is Book Two. Please read "affluenza" first to avoid any spoilers...
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AN: i'm sorry.
"THAT'S BASICALLY IT," I finish, bringing my knees to my chest as I look at Dr. Fritz. "Michelle deleted all of the posts and ANON is now offline. It's been a week and we've seen no new posts; Devin thinks we're in the clear. Now, all everyone's really focused on is the wedding, you know?"
Fritz nods. "I'm glad that you told me about these BLAST! posts, especially since they seem to have been a big part of your summer." She takes off her glasses and leans forward. "I wonder if we could talk about another big part of your summer. Someone you've avoided mentioning all session."
I grit my teeth, turning my head away. "I haven't heard from him."
"And how does that make you feel?"
I stare out the window at the August summer sun beaming down on the parking lot. Even though summer was ending, you couldn't tell with the soft breeze and warm sunlight. It was something I used to hate about Malibu; how the seasons never changed. How every month blurred into one another. I was sort of grateful for it now. I'd had enough change to last a lifetime.
"Mr. Adams?" Fritz prompts.
I bite my lip. "I miss him," I respond honestly. "I hope he's okay. He's getting a lot of shit right now and he doesn't deserve it."
Dr. Fritz smiles sadly. "Can I give you some advice, Braylen?" she asks. "As, someone who cares about you. Not just your therapist."
"Free advice that won't be added to my bill? Sounds great. Let's hear it."
Fritz chuckles once. "I think that naturally, your heart goes out for others. When I asked you about how things have been lately, you told me about the BLAST! posts, how they affected your friend group, and how you worked to resolve things for Sebastian's honor." I flinch a bit at the name but don't reprimand her. It felt sort of good hearing his name again. It feels good to know he was real. "When I asked you how you felt about Roman's absence, you went on about how hard of a time he was going through. Which begs the question, when do you have time to focus on yourself?"
She leans forward. "You're a nurturer, a caring being, Braylen. I've seen that from you repeatedly. And most astonishing is the fact that you don't seem to realize how often you do it. I just worry that all of the emotions from other people that you take on will one day bury you; I worry that you won't know how to handle it. I want you to take more time for yourself, just as you do for those you love. And I want you to be honest with yourself. Do you think you can do that for me?"
I smile softly. "I don't know just yet. But I can try."
¥
There's a sound of glass breaking. I glance at Hiro who was laying on the other side of the bed—we'd been sharing my room since he'd been here, partially because he didn't want to sleep on the couch but mostly because he's a cuddler. "What was that?" I ask, eyebrows raised.
