"There's a word I found recently. Evanescence. It made me think of you. It made me think of us. Were we just a dream, Sebastian?"
TW : Key themes of suicide and trauma.
WARNING: This is Book Two. Please read "affluenza" first to avoid any spoilers...
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DRIVING AWAY FROM Malibu felt more cathartic than I'd expected. We'd taken my car, though Roman assured me he made the trip on his motorcycle plenty of times. It took a lot of convincing for him to decide to take the car instead and one of the regulations was that he'd drive. I reluctantly agreed.
Roman clenches the wheel as he switches lanes on the freeway. We'd been on freeways for close to four hours now and I was sort of antsy. I glance over at him and gnaw on my lip. "Wanna play I Spy?" I ask, glancing out the window. I spot a green billboard and grin. "I spy with my little eye something green."
Roman doesn't respond, but he clutches the wheel harder. I frown and reach over, placing my hand on his thigh. Roman practically jumps and I wonder if he'd forgotten I was in the car with him. "Rome?"
"I'm fine," he mumbles quickly, reaching down and patting my hand. "Fine."
"I didn't ask you anything, yet," I point out. "What's going on?"
Roman takes a deep breath. "I'm nervous, I guess."
"Nervous?" I repeat, testing the word and being confused by it. It didn't sound right coming from a man I'd rarely seen be anything but confident. "What are you nervous about? I know Sam is a little used but she can get us to San Francisco, I swear. Driving back from Berkeley was about the same distance, anyways and—"
Roman looks over at me. "You named your car Sam?"
I blush. "What's wrong with Sam?"
"It's the lamest car name I have ever heard of. You couldn't get any more creative?" he presses, glancing at me with a confused expression.
I cross my arms across my chest. "Well, what's your motorcycle's name?"
"Caterina,"Roman articulates in an Italian accent that sends shivers down my spine. "You know, something that reflects the beauty that she is."
"Have you seen my car?" I ask. "It's hardly the epitome of beauty."
Roman chuckles. "Well, maybe, because you named it 'Sam!'"
"Sam is a fine name!" I hiss before widening my eyes. "Holy shit, you're distracting me again."
Roman bristles. "Distracting you from what?"
"Rome," I warn, lowering my voice an octave. "Answer the question."
He blows out a deep breath, switching lanes with ease. "I'm scared of what you'll...how you'll think of me, I suppose. Once we get there."
"Why would you ever be scared of that?" I murmur softly, squeezing his thigh. "You have to know by now that I think the world of you, Roman."
Roman reaches down and grabs my hand, looping our fingers together. "And what if after this you don't? I just...I don't want you to see me differently. I like how you see me."
