Breaking Barriers - S.R.

33

Sophia and I talked for a while longer until she finally said she needed to run home and take care of a few things. She rambled concernedly as I walked her to the door.

"I can come back in an hour. I just need to grab a few things and--"

Her words were cut short as I opened the door, both of us facing an awaiting Spencer on the other side, his hand raised as if he was about to knock.

Sophia's eyes darted back to me after focusing on Spencer. "Why don't you call me when you're ready for me to come back?"

I nodded, forcing her a smile as she hugged me before brushing past Spencer, who was still waiting silently.

"I know I was supposed to wait for you to call me, but--" He began, but I stopped him.

"Just come in, Spencer." I said, opening the door wider.

He walked in quickly as if he was expecting me to change my mind at any second. I gestured to the couch where I followed him, both of us sitting down to face each other. We sat in silence for a moment, just staring at the other before I sighed.

"Nothing that happened makes sense to me." I admitted. "I've been trying to piece it together with the small amount of information that Emily gave me, but I'm still confused."

"I know. Please, let me explain everything." He replied.

I agreed, allowing Spencer to tell his side of the story before I started asking questions. He started at the very beginning when he first met Lindsey Vaughn and her father, to how he met Cat Adams and why she was in prison. He explained everything about Mr. Scratch and how Cat had Lindsey imitate him to throw the FBI off of their tracks. He told me about Nadie Ramos and the drugs. The story stopped for a moment there and he held me as I broke down in tears over someone forcing those substances into his body against his will, after he worked so hard to be sober. He explained Cat's pregnancy and how she tried to convince him it was his child, which all ended up being a lie in the end. I felt the walls around my heart slowly breaking down the more he spoke, and my anger fading away.

The story continued to get worse as he started to tell me what he went through in prison. The threats, the murders he witnessed, the drugs and the abuse he endured. He talked about how he stabbed himself to get into solitary confinement and how he feared for his life every day. The last straw was after a few of the times I visited him, some of the other inmates started to talk about me. He told me the decision he had to make was only further confirmed when Dean paid him a visit. He wanted so badly to keep me safe and that was the only way he felt he could. He told JJ to send someone by my apartment every night to check on me, and they did. I just didn't know anything about it.

I didn't know what to say or how to react. I just cried and he held me, doing his best to console me. He repeated over and over that everything was okay now, and we were both safe. A wave of guilt crashed over me as I realized how angry I was at him, when I truly had no idea what was going on. I should've known better. Spencer was exactly the man I thought he was all along, I just couldn't see it through my heartbreak. However, there was still something he didn't mention. Something that didn't make sense to me.

"You told her that you wish the baby was yours...that you deserve each other." I stated, drawing the words out slowly as I thought about it.

"I only told her what she wanted to hear. I didn't mean any of it." He assured me.

"Why did she want to hear that?" I questioned.

"She's a psychopath that wanted me to admit I was like her." He explained.

"But you're not like her." It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

He shook his head. "The only woman I want to carry my children is you. I love you." I sucked in a breath at his sudden admittance but he didn't seem phased, only continued speaking. "I never wanted to end things, but if I told you that, you wouldn't have stayed away. I love you, and I never want to be apart from you again."