Breaking Barriers - S.R.

35

I woke up to the sound of my name being murmured quietly, and when I finally had the strength to open my eyes, I shot up in a startled fashion.

"It's okay." Spencer said softly, his hands gently holding onto my arms as I frantically looked around the room, calming down as I became aware of where I was.

"I fell asleep." I breathed out, my body collapsing back onto the couch as I rubbed my head from the splitting headache I had.

"You did." He replied, sitting down beside me. "We found Emily."

I looked up at him quickly. "Is she okay?"

He nodded. "She'll be fine. She's just shaken up."

"Scratch?" I asked softly.

"He's dead." Spencer replied.

I sighed in relief, but I know it was nothing compared to what everyone else must be feeling right now. "How long was I out?"

"Only a couple of hours." He replied. "Come on, let's go home and get some real rest."

I nodded and grabbed my bag, holding Spencer's hand as we walked through the office towards the exit. We crossed paths with one or two others rushing to head home, but everyone was too tired to speak. Spencer and I didn't have much to say on the drive home either.

Once we got back to our apartment complex, Spencer told me he was going to stop in at his place and grab a few things and he'd be right over. I unlocked my door and headed straight for the bathroom, stripping off all of my clothes before stepping into the shower as if I could wash away all the memories of today.

I heard the door open and close a few minutes later followed by Spencer stepping into the shower with me. He didn't say anything, just pulled me against him and sighed contentedly as the hot water poured over our skin. My eyes fluttered closed and I relished in the relaxing moment after all the chaos we'd been through. It wasn't until a few moments later that Spencer spoke up.

"Emily is giving us time off. I'll be home for a while."

"My boss told me to take some time off too." I replied. "Apparently being kidnapped and held hostage qualifies for paid mental health leave."

Spencer's body moved slightly from a scoff or laugh, I couldn't decipher which one exactly. I pulled back to look at him and he leaned down, placing a soft kiss on my lips. I melted into his touch and he deepened the kiss almost instantly, slipping his tongue into my mouth.

I broke the kiss for air as his hands started to roam my body suggestively. "I know you have to be exhausted."

He just shook his head. "I can't sleep yet."

So we didn't. The water was cold by the time we stepped out of the shower and finally crawled into bed but I had never felt warmer. Having Spencer back was worth every second of chaos, worry and exhaustion. As we laid silently in bed doing our best to fall asleep, despite everything that consumed my mind, the only thing I could think about was that I felt the same way Spencer confessed to me before he received that dreadful phone call. I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else.

I woke up a few hours later, thankful for the much needed rest. Spencer was sitting in bed beside me, reading under the light of my small bedside lamp.

"Hey." I said groggily, looking up at him.

He looked over at me and smiled softly. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. How long have you been awake?" I asked.

"Not too terribly long. I managed to get some sleep here and there." He shrugged.

I had a feeling he was lying, but I didn't question it. "Come here." I said, tugging him back down towards me. He set his book on the bedside table and wrapped his arms around me.

"You know, I was thinking..." He spoke softly. "What you said about moving in together. Would you be willing to do that?"

I turned to look up at him with a teasing smile. "What happened to marriage?"

"Well, you sounded like you weren't ready. I mean, unless you want to, but I thought this would be the next best thing and I want you to be comfortable with your decision. If you don't want to do either--" He rambled, but I stopped him.

"Spencer." I interjected. "I'm not saying no to either one. In fact, I would love to live with you."

"You would?" He asked, as if it surprised him that someone wanted to be around him all the time.

"Of course. I was always missing you before, but these last few days, I realized how much I don't want to be without you any more than I have to. We're over at each other's places all the time anyway." I chuckled.

"You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you say that." He replied, letting out a breath of relief.

"I still need some time to think about the whole marriage thing." I added.

"I understand." He nodded at me, forcing a small grin.

"So..." I started, sitting up cross-legged so I could see his face. "Do you want to talk about it?"

His brow furrowed in confusion, but I could tell he knew what I meant. "Talk about what?"

"Everything that's happened lately." I said.

He sighed. "I don't really know what to say. It was a lot. I think I'm still processing it."

I nodded.

"What about you? You went through something extremely traumatic and you barely had time to think about it before we were rushing off again to save Emily."

"I'm...okay. I think I'm still processing it too." I replied.

"That's natural. Please tell me when you're ready to talk about it." He stated. "And if you need to see someone..."

"I'll let you know." I forced a small smile and a chuckle and he smiled in return. "What about you? Do you want to talk about it?"

He shook his head. "Not really. We have a counselor that the Bureau provides anyway."

I nodded. "So...we agreed to moving in together, but where are we going to live?" I asked, changing the subject to a happier one.

"Well, my lease is up in 36 days." Spencer replied.

"Mine isn't up for another 3 months, and my place is a little bigger." I shrugged.

"Would you mind me moving into your apartment?" He asked.

"Are you kidding?" I retorted with a chuckle.

He smiled in response, clearly realizing how silly I thought it was. I wondered if he would ever get used to the idea of me wanting him entirely. "Well, I guess we made our decision then."

"You don't have to wait 36 days to move in, you know." I responded. "I don't really want to be alone right now."

Spencer studied me for a moment, a sympathetic look in his eyes before leaning over and kissing my lips softly. "We may as well use the time off work to our advantage. I'll start packing tomorrow."