Breaking Barriers - S.R.

31

As soon as I calmed down, Emily ushered me to one of the awaiting SUVs parked outside. The first 20 minutes of our drive was silent. I knew she was trying to give me a moment to process everything, and I didn't even know where to begin. I had almost died and it was basically because of Spencer. As traumatizing as that is, my mind kept going back to his words from earlier as he spoke to the woman I still didn't know.

"...It should be mine. I wish it were mine."

Those few simple words struck me in the heart every time I replayed them in my head. Who was this woman, and why did Spencer wish her baby was his? I couldn't understand it, but it was devastating to hear. I knew I was still in love with Spencer despite everything that happened between us, but I had held out hope that he still loved me too.

"I know this is a lot." Emily's voice softly rang out, pulling me from my thoughts. "If you want to talk..."

"I don't really know what to say." I stated.

"That's understandable." She replied, and the car went silent for a moment before she spoke again. "You should know that Spencer had to say a lot of things he didn't mean on that live feed. He did it to protect you."

"Protect me?" I squeaked. "She was going to kill me, and I don't even know who she is."

"Spencer knew that if he could get Cat to reveal her secret for Lindsey to hear, that Lindsey would rebel against her. He knew he would be able to save your life that way."

Cat. So that was her name. "Who is she?" I asked.

"A hit-woman that Spencer put away last year." She answered. I knew there was more to that story, but I'm sure Emily wasn't going to tell me everything. "She's been the person behind Spencer's arrest the whole time."

"I didn't even know he was out of prison until that video." I muttered, clenching my jaw in an attempt to hold back tears.

Emily sighed. "It's really not my place, but you should know that he told you to stay away to protect you. That's what he told us. He misses you, Olivia."

"It doesn't sound like it. Is that woman really pregnant?" I asked.

"Yes, but it's not with Spencer. There's more to that story, but I think you should let him be the one to tell it." She stated.

When we finally arrived at my apartment, Emily walked me up and stayed with me, offering to call someone to come over. It was late, nearly 4 in the morning at this point, but Sophia had been on high alert since I went missing, so she answered immediately when Emily called. Less than 10 minutes later, Dean, Sophia and Miles all showed up at my door causing me to burst into tears again as they enveloped me in a hug. We stood that way for a long time, the only sound being quiet sobs coming from me and Sophia.

When everyone finally released me, Sophia grasped my hands and looked at me. "I was so worried about you."

"We all were." Dean interjected.

"Do you have someone to stay with you tonight?" Emily asked.

"Yes." Sophia replied quickly. "We'll be here."

Emily nodded contentedly and grasped my arm. "If you need anything at all..." She handed me my phone and I took it gratefully.

"Thank you." I stated, as she pulled me into a hug.

"Take care of yourself." She said softly before slipping out the door.

I didn't even make it to the couch before I was bombarded with questions by Dean, but Sophia stopped him. "Dean, she may not want to talk about it right now." She sat down beside me. "Is there anything we can do? Anything I can get you?"

I shook my head, declining her offer. "I don't even know what to do right now."

Miles suggested we watch TV in an attempt to take my mind off everything, which was obviously impossible, but no one else really knew what to do either. After a while, I told everyone I was going to take a shower and go to bed. I had been laying in bed for an hour, wide awake, when I heard a soft knock on my door.

"Come in."

The door opened slowly and Miles stuck his head in. "You okay?" I nodded and he stepped in, leaving the door cracked behind him. He sat down on the edge of the bed and gave me a pitiful smile. "I'm going to head home. Dean and Sophia are staying with you."

"You're leaving?" I asked.

"Unless you want me to stay. I just figured with our history--"

"You don't have to leave, Miles. I appreciate you coming." I cut him off.

"Of course. I was really worried about you. I'm glad you're okay." He replied.

"Me too." I sat up and wrapped my arms around him in a hug, which he returned.

"Get some sleep." He said, after we pulled away.

"Hey, Miles?" I asked, stopping him in his tracks. "Do you think you could sit with me? Just for a few minutes?"

He stared at me thoughtfully for a moment before nodding. "Yeah, of course."

"Thanks." I said softly, moving over so he could sit on the bed comfortably.

"I don't want to be around a lot of people right now, but I don't want to be alone either. I know it doesn't make any sense." I rambled.

"No, I get it." He replied. "Whatever you need."

"I know everyone has a lot of questions."  I sighed.

"You don't have to talk about it if you're not ready." He said calmly.

I couldn't decide if I wanted to tell him anything. Talking about everything I heard would only make Spencer look bad, and they already weren't exactly fans of his. Besides, Spencer was the only person I really wanted to talk to right now anyway. I turned towards my nightstand to look at my phone. No missed calls or texts from him. I knew it was late and he was probably still wrapping up this case, but I thought he would at least reach out to me to make sure I was okay.

"All the cases that Spencer would tell me about, I never imagined I would be the victim in one." I muttered, mostly to myself.

"It's a lot to take in, but you're safe now." He assured me.

"Not everyone is so lucky." I replied.

"No, but you can't think like that. It's not your fault that you survived and others don't." Miles said.

"I know, but that doesn't make it any easier." I admitted.

Silence fell over us until I spoke again.

"She shot someone. The girl that kidnapped me. It was a man that was helping her. She shot him in the same house we were in." I said softly.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, Liv."

"I can't believe I made it out alive."

He reached out and held my hand without a word. I didn't know if Miles planned on staying or not, it didn't seem important to ask. We laid in silence after that, listening to muffled voices talking quietly in the living room for a while before they eventually died down. When the silence crept in, I started to think about Spencer again. Emily had answered some of my questions, but I was still so confused by everything else and I needed answers. Then again, I wasn't owed anything since Spencer and I weren't together anymore. However, he IS the reason I was taken in the first place, so the least he could do is give me an explanation.

I looked over to see Miles sound asleep, so I laid my head back against the pillows and did my best to get some sleep as well.