One Step At A Time - A Dawsey Story

Chapter 3 - "But in this situation, it just felt right to pray."

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Arms to the ground,
Far from the rivers
Grace in our tears,
High on a fever
Somebody heal me from my pain
I'm reaching closer,
My stars dive lower
Filling up lost memories

"I'll check on you later again", Dr. Freedman said and left Severide and me alone, without saying another word.
Severide sat down on the little chair next to my bed. "How are you?"
I slightly shrugged my shoulders. "A little sick. But uhm, besides that... fine, I think."
I quickly sized him up. He didnt look as bad as I would have expected. A big cut on his forehead, some scratches on his cheeks and his neck, and red, swollen eyes as if he had been crying, but I assumed it was from the smoke.

Holes in the sky
Pierced by the fire
Somebody tell me this is real

"What about the others?" I didn't dare to ask about Casey, I was too afraid of the answer.
Severide sighted. "Most of 'em are on intensive care. Cruz and Herrmann are in surgery right now." Then he noticed the look on my face. "Casey's okay. A concussion, some broken bones and bruises, nothing he couldn't deal with."
I felt like I had been carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, and now, finally, someone had taken it off me.
"Thank you", I whispered and took a deep breath. "How come you're not injured?"

Hands to the sky, I am a dreamer
We build the hope,
We are believers,
Somebody free me from my chains
I'm reaching closer,
My star dive lower
Filling up my memories.

Kelly wiped his arm over his face. "Guess my guardian angel has been hyper active."
An awkward silence took over between us, in which the sickness in my stomach grew stronger. I was sure I was going to throw up.
I wanted to say something, but Severide was faster. "Listen, Gabby. There's something you need to know. I, uhm... It's about -"
Before he could finish his sentence, a horrific pain ran through my abdomen and I interrupted him with a scared gasp.

Holes in the sky
Pierced by the fire
Somebody pull me from the dark

Severide looked over me, his eyes about as shocked as mine. "What is it?"
I just shook my head, showing him that I didn't know.
Make it stop!
I don't remember if it was me or Severide who pushed the emergency button - most likely Severide - but Dr. Freedman came hurrying in. "What happened?!"
Just in this moment, I felt something warm and wet between my legs, and I knew, whatever was going on with me was defenitely not good. "I'm bleeding."
Then everything went so fast.
Dr. Freedman inspected my stomach with her hands, then a nurse brought in an ultra sound. Did the doctor ask for it? I don't now.
I barely noticed how she asked Severide to leave and wait outside, but I managed to say: "No, let him stay, please."
I was surprised at myself, but I guess I just didn't want to be alone.
I tried to ignore everything around me.
Severide.
The nurse.
The doctor.
The cold ultra sound on my stomach.

Arms to the ground,
Far from the rivers
Somebody heal me from my pain
Hands to the sky,
I am a dreamer
Somebody free me from my chains

And then I did something I hadn't done in a very, very, very long time. I started praying. I didn't even know who I was praying to.
God...
The universe...
Life itself...
But in this situation, it just felt right to pray.
Something was going on inside of me and I didn't know what. I wanted the pain to stop, I wanted it to be over.
I just wanted to go home, be with Casey and tell him that I loved him.
I wanted to marry him. Spend the rest of my life with him and be happy.
That's what I was praying for.
And then, without any warning, Dr. Freedman's voice got me back to the reality. "I am so sorry, Gabriela."
Unexpectedly, Kelly took my hand and I prepared myself for the worst.
"You are having a miscarrige."