Bond Made in Hell || A TAEJIN STORY || Arranged Marriage

31

Jungkook

A rush of air. A soft gasp. And then, all of a sudden, a movement. A sudden, hurried, impulsive movement, and my lips are locked onto Seokjin's.

And at that moment as I press my parched lips against his plush red ones...I feel it.

Something I've never felt before. Not lust, not even passion. Not something that I've conditioned myself to do during the heat of sex. Not something that is always boring, stretched out, unnecessary, something that I've always felt the urge to skip over when it really comes down to it.

I don't know if I can call it that, just yet, but it sure does feel like something called love.

As my lips slot against his, and my hands move automatically to grip the sides of his armchair, my knees falling involuntarily to the floor, leaning towards him, my entire frame seeking to melt into his, and kissing him with a sort of undying and undeniable thirst, I feel something I've never ever felt before. I feel my heart thudding inside my chest, rather than the sound. I feel the sweetness of his lips on my tongue, rather than the taste. I feel the burning, consuming urge to hold him, keep him like that, always and always. Protect him. Keep kissing him until time ends and we fade into forever.

I feel a thousand and one things I haven't felt before, and it's a new and wonderful and somewhat frightening feeling. My mind is foggy, and my vision is hazy, and all I can think of is the beautiful man in front of me, the beautiful, perfect, perfect man. The soothing texture of the soft plump lips under my own and how much I desire him. I want him to be mine. Only mine. Only mine, forever.

And then the lips leave mine, and I am shoved roughly back.

I fall back and get unsteadily to my feet, and my heart, once at the very pinnacle of exploding and jumping and bursting with the energy of a thousand firecrackers and the fluttering of a thousand butterflies gives an uneasy lurch and drops to the very bottom of my chest.

Eyes clearing, I blink at Seokjin. He stares back at me, and then I see the tears in his large brown eyes.

'Why are you crying?' I want to shout, in despair. I want to move forward, hold him, wipe his tears away. I want to comfort him. 

But as I take another step I am pushed back once more, and Seokjin jumps to his feet. As his face nears mine I see the tears glistening brighter in his doe eyes: he looks, if possible, even more ethereal than he already is; but they are tears of anger.

'Mr Jeon.....' he breathes out, every word spoken slowly, through clenched teeth. 'Mr Jeon...why, why, why did you have to do this?'

'Seokjin, wait-' My eyes open wide in terror and dismay as he hurtles past me and out of the room, sniffling and wiping his tears, head held high.

'Seokjin-wait!' I cry out, unable to help myself, my voice almost breaking. 'Wait-I didn't mean it!'

Seokjin stops running, and turns to me. Every last shred of hope in my heart shatters to pieces as I look at his face. It is cold- colder than I have ever seen it. Cold as ice.

'I am a married man, Mr Jeon.' He says, and every emotionless word spoken from the cold lips stabs at my heart, leaving it broken, bleeding. 'I have a husband. I thought you made a promise to me. I trusted you. And today, this very moment, you broke your promise.'

He stops, and the tears rush once more into his brown eyes. 'Please don't cry,' I want to scream at him, once more, but my voice dies away in my throat, and the hands that ought to try and console him can only hang limply by my sides, as I look numbly at him.

'I trusted you,' he repeats, and a single tear falls from his eye. 'And you...you broke that trust.'

'Seokjin, I-'

But he's already gone.

For a few moments I only stand there, where I am, staring at the empty space between the wall and the open door. The space where he once stood. Where Seokjin once stood. Where he was likely never to stand again.

The world is suddenly black around me, and all I can see, feel, hear is nothingness. I feel a tearing sensation at my heart, like someone is ripping it apart like a cushion and then stitching it painfully back again, only to rip it apart once more. And it goes on. Over and over again.

Time passes, and it seems like aeons before I finally come to myself, feel and taste the tears prickling at the corners of my eyes and rolling down the sides of my mouth. My lips, once basking in his touch, now seem to sting and hurt under that very touch, only but lost.

I turn slowly, shakily, around, looking blankly at the desk in front of me. The two empty armchairs sitting opposite each other near the desk seem to sneer mockingly at me. 'Look at you, Jungkook,' they seem to be saying, in mirthless, loathing voices. 'Look at you. Rumored to be a playboy, breaker of people's hearts, a stickler to the same old one-night-stand routine. You took all those fabricated lies women told about you without saying a word. You took all the hate, all the whispers behind your back, all the dark looks. You took it all because you thought you were cool and you didn't give a fuck what anybody thought about you. You did whatever you wanted, didn't care how your actions affected anybody else. And then...he came into your life, and you fell, for the first time in your life, in something you could call love. You had a single chance, a single chance at actually, truly, loving someone, a single chance in your entire life, and you blew it. You're worthless. Hopeless. Useless.'

The entire world seems to suddenly explode before my eyes, and now all I can feel is the blood mounting inside my head, the tears turning to those of rage and frustration, channeling the ache into something more violent, terrifying, heartbreaking. I grab hold of one of the armchairs and raise it up over my head, then bring it down with a bang on the wooden floor. It comes down with a loud, shattering noise, and with that I hear the sound of the shattering of my heart.

'Fuck!' I shout, and now the tears are really falling. I've been holding them back for so long I don't even realise it. 'Fuck!' I shout once more, and collapse into the chair, my head in my hands. 'F-fuck,' I try to say once more, but it comes out weak, dissolving into a wordless whisper, as my voice is wholly overwhelmed by sobs.

All my life, I have never felt so wrecked as I do now.

I feel like I gave my heart to someone else, and he took it away with himself and I'm permanently left without one.

I feel like I'm stuck inside a locked closet, begging for someone to rescue me, help me, but my voice is stuck in my throat and I remain consumed by silence, utter darkness.

I feel like I'm drowning underwater, and people are watching me, watching me die. And I can see the looks on their faces. Satisfied, gloating faces. I see the way their lips tug into smiles, the hatred burning in their eyes. 'You deserve it,' they say, as one, and I cry out once again, helplessly, hopelessly, as the stretch of my arm, my one arm desperately reaching towards the surface, trying to haul myself out, falls short and I am dragged like a stone into the depths of the water.

'I do deserve it,' I whisper, as darkness consumes me, and I am buried beneath layers and layers of blinding, stifling water, 'I do deserve it, b-but...it hurts.'

I was wondering if there should have been a better build up to Jungkook and Seokjin's relationship, but this is a Taejin story after all. It's hard to write about tough things like love and heartbreak when you are yourself yet to experience it, but I tried my best. 💜💜