𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐒ᵃʳⁱᵃⁿᵃ ᵍʳᵃⁿᵈᵉ

seven

seven - frenemies

——

   i don't fucking know why i broke ariana's crayons in kindergarten. i don't know why i laughed when she cried. honestly, i don't know why i do anything i do to her.

i had always liked ariana, not romantically, but i always thought she was cool and an enjoyable person, unlike how she thought about me. i mean, she had reason to not like me—i was an asshole.

we used to be sort of friends in the fourth grade—but the friendship was kinda one sided because i was the only one initiating anything with her.

   when we were ten and still "friends" i told ariana everything. i told her about how i felt about my home life, about how i felt on suddenly just finding out i was a girl, and i told her about my dad cheating on my mom.

   my dad cheated on my mother once in third grade, and i somehow found out. it was so long ago, i don't even remember how i knew. i told my mother who then confronted my dad. they broke up for about seven months before my mother realized just how much she loved and needed him, so they got back together. my dad hasn't cheated since—both my mother and i would've known if we had. he is just so easy to read.

   now, my parents just argue almost all the time. they were still madly in love, i could tell, but sometimes they just couldn't stand each other. but, sometimes was most of the time. my mother was still insecure in their relationship because of my fathers infidelity and it was ruining her. she cried into my shoulder so many nights, and i let her. i can't tell you how badly i wish she would leave him. being married to him was killing her from the inside out.

   despite how frequently i told ariana about my feelings and my parents, i don't think she remembered anything.

   i missed our friendship, i did. i missed talking to her and i missed bothering her without her getting really mad at me. i just missed being with her. ariana was the most beautiful girls i had ever seen. and even despite my relationship with ana, ariana still remained the most beautiful.

   ariana one day just stopped talking to me. so, i reverted back to my kindergarten self and was an asshole to her. i had made so many jokes and, surprisingly, only one rumor about her (that i then told everyone was false).

   in sophomore year i started dating ana, the girl i had liked since eighth grade. she was amazing. she was nice, funny, and caring. i don't know—there was just something that drew me to her.

   i gave ana everything. she was my first "real" kiss. (my actual first kiss was with nadia, but we don't talk about that). we gave each other our virginities when we were only fifteen. i had never understood why, but ana wanted to have sex only six months into our relationship. i said yes, only because i didn't want to upset her. but now, it only reinforces my thoughts that she only ever wanted me for sex or to have some kind of experiment.

   seeing ana cheating on me was the worst pain i had ever experienced in my life. i was so excited for our little date when i saw her bouncing on this jocks tiny dick in her bed. i felt my heart break into a million pieces, and i still hadn't put it back together.

   ana was horrified when she saw me, tears filling her eyes immediately. she slipped the guy out of her and wrapped a blanket around her naked body, frantically walking up to me.

   she apologized profusely, but i wouldn't accept them. i couldn't. i loved her with my entire being—and she had ruined that for some reason that i do not know. maybe she just got tired of me. maybe her experiment was over.

   when i told ariana about ana, a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. it just felt like fourth grade again—me confiding in her and she just listening. that one of the things i loved about her, she listened.

——

ariana's pov

   i nervously walked into my first class of the day that of course, y/n was in. she smiled widely as her eyes landed on me and she got out of her seat, walking towards me.

"shit." i muttered, shuffling with my books and binders. y/n smiled again when she was in front of me. "hey!" she spoke happily, grabbing my things out of my hands. she walked away to my desk and set my stuff down, and i followed close behind her.

she sat down on the chair next to mine as i also had a seat, feeling extremely nervous around her after saturday. i cleared my throat, also feeling confused as to why y/n was sitting next to me. "why—why are you sitting there?" i asked quietly.

y/n rested her elbow on the desk and her temple in her palm, her eyes burning holes into me. "we have time to work on our projects today." she smiled cheekily.

i groaned, throwing my head back. "why?!" i whined, seriously just wanting to do some dumbass work other than spend more time around y/n. it wasn't like i was still annoyed to be around her, i was scared. i thought she was going to kiss me!

"well, i don't wanna talk to you." i spoke, running my hand through my ponytail. y/n pouted dramatically, her eyes filling with clearly fake tears. y/n was a great actor—she was in some of the musicals and plays like i was.

"is it because of saturday? i didn't mean to got you all twisted, really." she shrugged, her pout dropping and the tears disappearing from her eyes.

i scoffed, "you can't just do that to a girl, y/n! you scared the shit out of me!" i slapped her arm, suddenly feeling angry at her actions. i mean, it wasn't like i didn't want her to kiss me—it's just the fact that she made me embarrass myself for being totally into it.

y/n's body leaned back, her hands up in defense. "damn, girl. i'm sorry. i just had a point to prove to you and to myself." she smirked, tapping her pencil against the desk.

i sighed, rolling my eyes. "and what is that point, y/n?" i was expecting the worst. y/n's smirk grew as she got closer to me face, and i was blushing already at the simple motion. "that you looove me." she teased me, throwing a wink my way.

i blushed even harder and pushed her away from me, "you're a fucking dickshit, y/n." i groaned, hiding my blazing face into my hands. y/n giggled, tugging on my shirt. "you didn't deny it, beautiful."

   "oh my god! quit!" i slapped her again, this time laughing through my words.

   y/n smiled softly at me, her eyes weird just like that one time before. "ight, i'll stop." she gave up, her hands raising slightly again. i huffed, "thank you, y/n." i spoke in a joking tone.

   "of course, my lady." she winked again, speaking in a british accent. i giggled, picking up my pencil and digging out the outline i created for the essay.

   "okay, tell me more about yourself, malarky jr." i smiled.

——
she's like short but i'm tired and wanted to publish two chapters to make up for being gone 😔😔

i'll be busy for a day or two, but i hope to update saturday :)

i love you <3333!!!