𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐒ᵃʳⁱᵃⁿᵃ ᵍʳᵃⁿᵈᵉ

seventeen

seventeen - picture perfect

——

i took a deep breath before i entered my home. i slid off my shoes and set them down nicely by the door, quickly glancing at the time. it was only nine am and i had no clue if anyone would be up after the long night we had.

i cautiously walked into the living room and was shocked when i saw both of my parents there and still up. alexandra was gone and i assumed she called up one of her friends to pick her up.

   they both seemed extremely calm as they looked at me, almost like they were expecting me. my mom sent me a gentle smile as she stood up, opening her arms to me as i walked up to her. even though she smiled at me just as she usually did, i could tell it was fake. she looked almost identical to me when i pretended everything was fine.

   i wrapped myself around her as she stroked my hair, kissing my temple. "i'm okay, y/n." she assured me, my nerves calming down a great number.

   i nodded against her shoulder, my eyes opening as i saw my father over her shoulder. he held a deep frown on his lips as he twirled around the ring that had now appeared on his finger. i rolled my eyes to myself, remembering he wasn't wearing it last night when he was planning on fucking someone else.

   my mother pulled away slowly, smiling at me once more. "sit down with us, okay?" she whispered, gesturing to the couch where there was an empty space.

   i scoffed, shaking my head. i don't want to sit next to that piece of shit that was unfortunately my father. i instead took a seat at the chair that was off to the side of the couch. my arms crossed over my chest as i sat back, my leg bouncing.

   "we just want to start off saying that we both love you so, so much, and whatever happens isn't going to change that," my mother spoke, placing her hand on my knee.

   i clenched my jaw and nodded, keeping my eyes on the stupid family photo that sat on the shelf above the fireplace. i was only nine in the photo.

   i was so pissed the day we took the photo—and if you really looked at me, you could tell. my smile was clearly fake, and my eyes were pointed at my father and not the camera.

   my parents had gotten into a fight about me that day. just a week before, we had found out that i wasn't actually their son, but i was their daughter. my dad was clearly pissed off and was ignoring me. my mother, on the other hand, was comforting me all week because i was clearly confused on what was going on.

my dad kept giving me looks and they made me upset. i was up in my room the day of the photo when i heard them arguing about me. my dad wanted to either cut my penis off or never tell anyone that i was actually a girl. my mother smacked him so hard that i jumped.

we found out that he cheated on my mother a few months later.

my dad finally came around to the idea of having an unconventional daughter, and he apologized relentlessly to me for years after. i decided that it would be pointless for me to hold a grudge over him because it would make my life that much harder, so i forced myself to forgive him.

"yeah, i guess," i sighed, running my hand over my face.

i looked over at my mother just in time to see tears fill up her eyes again. she wiped them away quickly before standing up, walking over to the fireplace to lean against the wall next to it.