Worth Any Risk

Ch. 24 Closed Doors

*Cole

I can see that the accident and the fear of Trey's revenge have shattered Jordan, and my heart aches for her. To have sent her best friend away, not listening to a thing she said—I can't fathom the pressure she's under. Sharon told her the absolute truth. Jordan is trying to impress a rat's ass bastard who isn't even here, and she's wasting her life.

I've never had such a clear goal before, but if there is one thing I hope to accomplish, it's to get her daughter back. That and put a fist in Trey's face.

She clutches me and lets me support her for several minutes, not crying, but obviously not in a good place. I was right to come. She needs me. She needs to get out of this town and let herself breathe free again, if she was ever free to begin with. I have to convince her. Whatever it was she wanted to say before I came, I have to change her mind.

She loosens her hold and I crouch next to the bed at eye level.

"I dealt with Brandon this morning, but there's something you should know."

She draws away, turning from me. "Dammit, Cole, I told you not to do anything to him. This will all get back to me, making him and the people here hate me more. One word to his cousins at the station and Emma's file will be buried forever. You have no idea what it's like here."

"Neither of us is responsible for what other people feel or do, and the sooner you learn that, the better off you'll be."

"And now you're lecturing me? You've been with me for, what? Four days? This is my daughter's life I'm trying to protect. I have to get her back, who knows what—" Her voice breaks off and years of pain well in her eyes.

"Jordan. I know you think Brandon is useless, but I disagree. I've seen things, sides of him that you haven't. He said he could get information. He thinks he has a way of finding Trey. I think you should trust him."

"The hell? He punched me in the gut and would have done worse when I was on the ground. He laughed in my face, saying he wished he could hide information from me because of how happy it would make him. How dare you tell me to trust him!"

"That's not what I—"

"Not what you meant?" she interrupts. Her cheeks are blotchy with anger. "I've been in this town seeing sides of him for the last eight years since you took off that you can't imagine."

"If I could kill him, I would. You can trust me, you can depend on me to help you. And I believe that if he can help you get Emma back, you'd be a fool to say no."

She shudders as if cold water was thrown in her face. "Take me home, please."

"Did the doctors say—"

"I need to go home."

I nod and leave to find a nurse. Half an hour later, she climbs silently into my car, and stays silent for the drive to her house. I help her out and to the porch where she pauses. The evening air is cool as a breeze rolls from the forest, and the crickets chirp noisily. The kind of evening for sitting on a porch, dreaming of the future.

This is it, my gut tells me. I pushed too hard. I tried to force her hand on too many things. She's made up her mind.

I won't let her go without a fight, though. "Can't you see what this town is doing to you?"

"I see what you show me. I asked you to stay away from Brandon and I asked you not to meet me at the hospital."

"I think he could get information on Trey. He's your best bet for finding your daughter."

She scoffs and goes to the rail. "Brandon is a liar and manipulator. He always wanted to be Trey—popular, handsome, promising. And a complete scumbag who could get away with it because of who his family was, because of his own charisma. Brandon doesn't know anything, or he would have come forward years ago. He could have claimed the reward money and have been a hero. He could have had everything he loves—money and admiration. Now, he's broke and disgusting, and he'll be after you for revenge. So who do you think will pay for it in the end?" She glances up at me, lit only with the cold glow of the moon. "That's right. Me."

"I won't let him. You won't even be here. In two weeks, we will be two states away on the coast."

"No, we won't."

Something cracks inside me. "Jordan, remember what Sharon said? Let yourself live."

"This is my home. This house is where I have to wait for my daughter and my sisters to return. They're my family, and this is our home."

"I'll make you a new home. You have to get out of this town, with me."

"No. I don't, Cole." She reaches up to cup my chin. Her hand is cold and barely grazes my skin, like a ghost's hand. "I tried to convince myself I could leave and be happy, but I can't. Everything I've fought for is here. Who I am, and what I've gone through to be able to stand on my own two feet is tied up in this house and this town. I understand if you have to go. Cole, you are wonderful, but you aren't the man for me."

Her words grind me up to the bone. I'm not enough. Not the right man for her.

She watches as I die inside.

"Before the accident," she says, voice so low I bend my head nearer to hear. "I went to visit my mother's grave. Please try to imagine what it means to me to have my roots here, the pain I would feel if I'm uprooted, and what it would mean to me to be whole again if—when—Emma comes home and I can be with her in this house."

"This town will rip you to pieces before you ever heal."

"Maybe." She crosses her arms. "Maybe I'm weak or a failure, despite how hard I've tried to do everything right. Maybe I am broken to the point I break everything I touch. But since you've been in town, there has been nothing but trouble for me. I've taken too many risks, I've had too many problems, and no matter how much I love you, I can't risk losing Emma."

The spot in my chest, where my heart used to be, caves in. I'm not the one. She's the only woman who's touched my heart in my entire life, and I'm not the one. I will belong her to alone, and her to me, but it's not enough.

"So I'm not good enough? Just as you believe you aren't good enough for Trey to give Emma back?" I ask.

"I didn't say you weren't good enough. I need someone I can rely on. A man who will respect my wishes, and not tell me what's good for me. Sharon was wrong about a lot of things she said, about lying to myself and trying to be the model wife, because I'm living my life as Emma's mother, and nothing else. She was right that I didn't fight back against anyone before today, but I'm standing my ground about what I need right now.

"Tell me what you need and I'll give it to you."

"I needed you to not pick a fight with a man whose family is half the town's police force. I needed you to give me space to think about how I was going to do damage control on a stupid car accident before Trey's sister and mother found out."

"You care more about people's opinions about you than you do your best friend's feelings and your relationship with me. You care about them more than about yourself. Put yourself first for the first time, ever, Jordan."

"I am nothing and no one as long as my daughter is out there!" Her voice hangs in the air, a sharp line between us. "And you are making it worse, because what I also need is time to make the right decisions. You showed up in my life three, four days ago, but I have to immediately do what you tell me?"

There's a beat of silence. Then she strikes the finishing blow. "I think it's time for you to go."

"This is a mistake," I say, unable to stop fighting. "You are letting Trey, his family, and everyone else in this town control you. Brandon can help us track him down. We'll do this together, you and me."

"We won't do anything together. I'm going to stay on everyone's good side and you are going to go home to your job and your life, while I stay with mine."

"Jordan—"

She crosses the porch and shuts the door.

Another door slammed in my face. I stumble down the stairs, a dead man with a pulse. I've been thrown out of her life. Who I am is not good enough. I start my car and throw it in reverse. She's right—nothing but trouble. This town is poison through and through. But there is nothing holding me here anymore, so I am leaving.

*** Thank you as always for reading!!! Hit the star if you enjoyed this chapter! ***