infinity !﹒⪩⪨﹒ dkbk

chapter 24 : love

"he claimed that i liked it.."

"because of the way my body reacted."

"and for a while, i thought i did."

"i mean, if i didn't... why did my body react like that?"

"as if i did in fact.. enjoy it?"

"and so he became rougher."

"bruising."

"and i.."

"i continued to react as if i found pleasure."

"even though it hurt, i couldn't help it. it slipped."

"and so he blamed me for it."

"and.. now i-i understand that it is in fact..."

"my fault.."

"that he raped me."

it'd been many weeks since katsuki's dreadful first session. to katsuki, it was useless. though, seeing now much work izuku put into it, he simply couldn't back away. the least he could do was actually cooperate.

"what he's done to you is not your fault. it's common for the human body to react that way when stimulated so intensely." nemuri explained.

katsuki remained silent.

"things that others do to you doesn't define who you are."

"but i feel like that. i can't change it, i don't know how to." katsuki's voice cracked. this was the first time he's opened up about his experience. it took weeks, months for him to be able to utter these feelings and express how they completely tore him up inside sent him spiraling.

"you are changing that, right now. by talking to me in this very room. the ability for you to utter these painful words today show how much you've grown, much much you've changed since." nemuri spoke softly.

katsuki scoffed, "i don't believe you." he hissed sharply. nemuri smiled at this, knowing that katsuki had been saying this since they've first met. yet, he has been showing signs that he does, in fact, believe her.

things were getting better, little by little as katsuki was now able to stomach food without having to fight the immeasurable disgust for himself.

and despite the voice in his head telling him that things weren't, katsuki began to feel the change as well.

"so, why don't you tell me a bit more? i'm all ears."

katsuki picked at his fingers for a bit before glancing back up at her. with a sigh, he began to speak, feeling an odd sense of trust as he did so.

-----

"how was your session today?" izuku asked as he sat in front of katsuki.

the room was near-silent, just them in the room. soft gusts of the chilly autumn wind blew the curtains, allowing them to flow beautifully beneath the dark blue hue of the moonlight.

though, katsuki looked up at izuku tearfully at the thought of his session. izuku would always ask this after it, and katsuki would tell.

though, this time it seemed to hurt a bit more than usual.

"it hurt, honestly." katsuki spoke softly. "i told her.. a lot. it hurt so much to speak on.. y'know."

no matter how dark it was in the room, izuku could see the single tear that streamed down katsuki's face.

izuku frowned slightly before cupping katsuki's face softly, leaning in to press a soft kiss onto katsuki's forehead. "but that means you were strong enough to do it. i'm proud of you." he hummed.

over time, katsuki began to feel less sensitive to physical touch. in fact, he craved those touches, only from izuku. he wanted to feel the physical love after such a short-lived yet traumatic time with such physical pain.

katsuki nodded, his heart pattering happily in his chest at the praise. "i cried in front of her, felt so weak. but i couldn't help it, i wanted to let it all out." he explained.

"it's okay to cry, kacchan. it doesn't make you weak. in fact, it makes you strong because you gathered up the courage to express these feelings even if they made you cry." izuku spoke. their foreheads were now touching as being of izuku's hands cupped katsuki's face, holding him so gently.

katsuki remained silent for a while before breaking into a soft cry. though, this cry was not desperate, it was no longer a plea for help.

he began to cry because of his love for izuku, because feeling of love that racked his body whenever he was around the green haired male.

"stop.."

"i'm serious, kacchan. you're so strong, brave. how could i not be proud of you? you've been doing so well."

katsuki cried more, his grip on izuku shirt tightening as he did so. his stomach and heart both fluttered at these praises, it felt so nice, he loved it.

he loved izuku.

and now, he felt as if it were just about time to tell him that.

katsuki pulled away, gazing up at izuku, his face still wet with tears.

"izuku-.."

the green haired male gazed deeply into katsuki's eyes wiping the tears away from his wet cheeks.

"izuku, i love you."

no other words were uttered before their lips met. katsuki immediately returned the kiss, unable to stop the stray tears that spilled from his eyes.

the very world around them was mute, time stopped as their lips met.

and for a moment, katsuki could feel his pain stop.

izuku was so gentle, his lips were so sweet.

so loving.

so healing.

perfect, utterly perfect for katsuki.

the pain and suffering that kept him bound to kai's actions so tightly now began to unravel, freeing him slowly.

after what felt like an eternity of clarity, they pulled away.

"i love you too, katsuki. i always will." izuku whispered softly.

with those words alone, katsuki felt so free, as if oxygen finally began to fill his lungs.

"you see? he does not wish to love you as you love him. especially with how filthy you've become."

those words no longer hurt, katsuki no longer felt so intensely bound to them.

they did not define him, they did not hurt him.

"i always have."

katsuki's body shook softly as he cried happily. he then pulled himself into izuku, hugging him tightly as he cried into the crook of his neck.

"thank you.. so much."