Missing Pages (Book 2)

I Want To Be Alone

Zayn's POV~
"You..you actually love him." He says surprised, it wasn't really a question. It was an observation. "Yes." I sigh. I have to find him. I let go of Donny & run to his dorm room. The word 'FREAK' was written on the whiteboard that hung on the door. I rip it off, & try to open the door, but it's locked.

I reach on the top of the door frame & grab the spare key, before unlocking the door. His blankets were untouched, & the room was empty..maybe he went to my dorm? I quickly shut the door & run to my dorm, unlocking it & stepping inside, only to find it empty. Duh, my door was locked. Of course he couldn't get in..did he come here to look for me? I feel the fear building up inside me. Is this how he felt when I would disappear? Where the hell is he? Suddenly it hits me.

The roof. God I'm an idiot. I run up the stairs to the roof, & open the door leading outside. The wind was blowing wildly, & snow was coming down pretty hard.

I squint through the darkness, & snow, trying to see if he was out here. The door handle slips out of my hand & the wind blows it shut with a loud slamming noise.

I reach back & try to open it but the handle is broken. Fuck.

"Leave m-me a-alone.." I hear a voice cry. I turn around & see a dark shadowed figure curled up on the floor. I step closer..the voice sounds familiar..Harry.

I rush over to him, kneeling down next to his shivering body. "Baby.." I say softly, reaching out to touch his cheek. He flinches away from the touch, his cheek is freezing.

"Baby..please.." I plead, reaching out for him again. He sits up, scurrying away from me, & it feels as if a knife is being twisted into my heart.

"You played me..you don't love me.." He spits. What? How could he think that? What the hell did Donny say to him?

"What the hell ar-" I begin but he interrupts me. "You think I'm a freak! You think I'm a poor worthless nobody, and you only agreed to date me because you feel bad for me! Don't lie, Donny already told me. I'm trash, & you're the guy everyone either wants to be with, or wants to be. I..I can't believe I was so stupid..." He sobs, completely broken.

The knife twists further inside me, as I look at the broken boy in front of me..I did this..I broke the one person who was putting me back together.

"Harry..I do not pity you. I love you. How can you not see that?" I say, taking his frozen hands into my own.

"You're lying.." He says weakly, not looking up at me.

"Fuck you." I spit, & he looks up at me shocked. "Do you know how fucking hard it is for me to let someone in like I let you in? Do you know how long I've spent pushing people away before you came along? How fucking dare you say that I don't love you." I finish, my body tense.

"I'm sorry.." He whispers, a tear slipping down his cheek. "I'm sorry.." He repeats again..over & over as he cries into his hands, after removing them from mine.

"I'm a freak..the whole school thinks I'm a freak.." He mumbles into his hands, rocking his body back & forth.

"You're not a freak..who gives a fuck what they think? They're nothing. Absolutely fucking nothing. They're trash." I spit.

"I'm trash.." He says weakly. "You think I'm trash.."

"What? What the hell are you talking about?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows together.

"I'm nothing. Not them. I'm trash." He says, moving his hands away from his face, & looking up at me.

What have I done? I knew this would happen..I knew I would break him..I tried to warn him..I tried to stay away..