LOVE IS NOT OVER YET JIKOOK

Chapter 19: maybe, i'll get drunk again, to feel a little love

[ jungkook ]

I feel the weight beside me shifting, I was still awake but will to open my eyes had escaped my body – it's been hours but it still left me so weak, I could still feel the tears slowly drying in my eyes and how I badly wish the pain and hurt in my heart could do the same.

All the pent up emotions of everything had just dawned on me, in that stolen moment of him & I, I didn't bother to put up the mask and rise up the walls. I just broke down, crying my bleeding heart out, I wanted to tell myself to be strong but I never was strong not when it's him involved. I'd always be weak for him, I think.

A smooth and comforting hand found its way to my cheeks, caressing it with such longing and fond that I couldn't move nor push away. Stay, please. I continued to close my eyes, savoring the feeling of his hand resting on my cheek, I could also feel him breathing lightly in front of me.

"I hate myself so much for letting you go," Jimin whispered. I didn't answer and continued pretending asleep.

I hate you too for that. You made me realize my biggest fear and damn it, it was losing you.

"I just wished I could still have you back, our family back. It's all I ever wanted," Jimin continued, "I never meant to leave you, I just had to. And it wasn't your fault, it was mine, yeah. I made you think you were never enough but all along it was me that was never enough for you, I never deserve you but god, I want you. I want you back so bad."

Please stop. I could feel the tears building up in my eyes, no. No, don't pull it. Don't pull my heart strings on me, Jimin.

His fingers grazed down my cheeks, sliding lower and lower until it caught touch of my lips. I could feel him stopping there, could also hear his breath his breath hitching and quickening like my lips were his Achilles' heel – how it made him weak that it was almost unbearable.

"I love you." He whispered breathlessly, then a pair of lips went to the corner of my lips, the feel of his lips against my skin made me want to crumble – hug him tightly right then and there and never ever let him go. But there's also that fear that lingered.

He ran his lips down and raved on my neck, he didn't do anything but rather he nuzzled against my neck. He inhaled my scent, and from there I could smell his hair – the manly and fragrant smell of Jimin, all Jimin.

We slept, again until dawn came and a phone call broke.

The blaring sound of a phone call roared in my room, waking me up from the slumber which I could deem as one of the most decent sleep I got these past few weeks, months even. I tried to move to reach for it, but restraint had itself wrapped around me in the form of Jimin's sturdy arm.

Jimin hugged me to his side, while facing my direction. His embrace felt so normal, it felt like it was just like before, no time skips and we were still the Jikook that he coined. I slowly removed his arm that was tightly wrapped around my waist as if protectively – like it was instinct for him.

I took the phone and groggily walked outside the room, in case the phone call might wake him up.

"Hello?" I spoke to the other line.

"Hello, Jimin?" The caller responded, and that's when it hit me that the phone that I held wasn't mine, it was Jimin's. I quickly pulled the phone away from my ear, there I saw who the caller was; Yoongi.

Suddenly, I want to throw this phone away. I don't know but I found my knuckles tightening around Jimin's phone. The rising emotion that I know all too well was building up like waves inside of me, flooding every single ounce of compassion I've come to retrieve from the stolen moment between him and me, but the waves hit off too strong and I was rendered weak.