LOVE IS NOT OVER YET JIKOOK

Chapter 11: missing you

The scorching exchange of words back at the museum had lingered on his mind, suddenly everything felt like it was an illusion – everything wasn't actually reality, or maybe it was but there was something beyond it that could be labeled as the truth. Reality always had to do with deceptions and truth was always hidden behind those deceptions and that's exactly the hopeless case they were in.

That day, that unforgettable day he tried to erase in his mind but couldn't because it left his heart and mind full of swirling emotions – a mixture of intangible sadness and floods of euphoria that always felt the same, that was always there whenever he reminisced the irremovable past. He went home, hoping to seek comfort and refugee in his arms even though the fire of their love he could feel burning out, he still needed him even if that was the last but just when he thought his heart could never break so much and so badly, he was so wrong; because it did, at the sight of the love of his life, doing somebody right there in front of him.

Jimin was so perfect, really, he knew he was so hard to love because someone like him didn't deserve to be love – at least, that's what life was trying to tell him with all the endless suffering he had gone through and to where he is now, he was a boy not worthy of love and as cliché at it sounds, it was because he was someone who could never love himself.

Yet, the gap had erupted hunger from him and it only got triggered by someone so earnest and stubborn like Park Jimin; he kept saying things that made his heart go crazy beneath his chest – thumping so loud he could only hear his heart beat in his ears, and Jimin was so fucking beautiful, from his well built body and well defined facial features to his milky white skin, he was God's perfect creation and so just when someone so perfect like him, with an earnest heart and stubborn will, in God's timing, he was bound to go weak on his knees and surrender to the desire of being loved and the desire to love, because Jungkook knew he liked Jimin the first time he saw him. He was an enigma that daunted in his mind.

But perfection was an illusion, an illusion that humans created and were so obsessed with sometimes towards the point of insanity because they were stuck in the perception that flaws were ugly, not worthy of being seen, not worthy of being shown and that perfection was synonymous to beauty. Though, there's no such thing as perfect and that's what Jungkook momentarily forgot when his heart had ruled his mind - he forgot that Jimin wasn't perfect, he forgot that Jimin was so capable of hurting him, so bad, that it will ruin him, he forgot that even God's precious angels were capable of turning into fallen angels.

He saw him though, kissing here and there like a hungry beast finally catching its prey and savoring it, he wanted to runaway because the sight he was seeing him was like an excruciating death – so painful and awfully slow but he couldn't. His feet had betrayed him, he remained standing still and in his mind he kept repeating that it wasn't Jimin, that isn't his Jimin, but that face of an angel was doing deeds of a devil that's taking him to his impending death.

Was it really possible for such human being to bear that amount of pain? It felt like dying, but fuck, he was still breathing.

He saw the person beneath Jimin lock gazes with him, but his eyes were too blurry with tears to catch an image of him – yes, him, that was the only thing cleared right now that under Jimin was a guy. And damn, it stings like a fucking bitch, Jungkook would have kept a little of his dignity if it was a girl because Jimin might not be really homosexual to begin with or he had fallen back to heterosexuality, but for his needs to be fulfilled by another guy when there was him? It fucking hurt, and his dignity felt like being stripped off of him because was he that replaceable? Was Jimin so out of love with him that he can't bear to thrust in and out of him like he was about to do with that guy?

"J-Jungkook," he had heard Jimin uttered when the guy beneath him pointed at his direction, all impending actions stopped.

He wiped his tears, trying his best not look pathetic but he couldn't give a damn about how he looked when all that matters to him right now is the searing pain in his heart. "Seriously?" Jungkook said in disbelief, trying to smirk but it faltered, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. "You could've wait, Jimin. You could've fucking wait 'til we were over for you to fucking pull this stupid shit with me,"