Demon Slayer Imagines

Kocho Shinobu

When I leave

❀ word count: 987

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 Everything seemed to remind you of her. The candles you bought to lighten up the room, during the nights when the sky was too dark to even let the moon shine through. Her sheets that still held her fragrance that you never failed to compliment, the familiar perfume you very much loved. Something as small as a butterfly flying by, just like that, she had left.

You couldn't remember when exactly it had been now, grieving had consumed you so much. For nights all you could do was cry, when the kasugai crow announced the death of your partner. Those little words, and the way they made your knees drop with a loud bang on the wooden floor, tears flowing down your cheeks. Your agonizing screams could be heard from miles away, and not even the little girls had the courage to go close to where you stood.
After crying for so long, it was expected you'd be feeling better, however, each passing day made you long for your own death as soon as possible. Everyone seemed to have moved on and accepted everything so well, now that Kibutsuji was gone. You couldn't feel the same, and it felt increasingly hard to even get out of your room.

The memories of her time with you, hands softly holding yours, her scolding and her incredible smile. In a way you could understand how this was, perhaps, the best for her. After all, she was such a troubled soul that it would be hard to keep on living any longer. Fate was decided from the moment you were born, and guessing by the way it went, yours wasn't supposed to have the happy ending you had planned, the future you had hoped to have with her. You idealized a home, away from everything that upset you. It would be just you and her, and the young girls, watching the sun during the days, and the stars during the night, and no one would ever hurt you again.

When you most needed, she left. It was so painful, it felt so frustrating, like you could not go one living without her, and truth be told you didn't feel like you could ever. Your heart ached at the thought of ever having to leave all of your past behind and move on. It was impossible, how could you ever?
Screaming, shouting, even going as far as breaking things, that was how bad you felt. 

Walking down the corridor, you saw the things that reminded you of the one person that always made your heart rest easy. No matter how much you would run around and tire yourself out, she would always be there for you. Maybe you took her for granted, and you surely regretted it immensely now that she was gone, but how could you ever predict this? Sure, the job she was at wasn't ideal and death was part of it. However, you always hoped she would get out of it alive, no matter the danger. That was just how much naive your mind was.

"Y/N-san, take care of yourself when I leave, hm~?"

Her voice echoed through your head, and tears fell from your house.
As your hands moved the dirt to plant some new flowers, you could feel your shoulders tremble with the tears and sobs you tried to hold. A few drops fell on the soil, but it didn't matter.
The flowers were accustomed to your outbursts, as it was so easy to just remember her sweet features, when you saw the flowers you two had planted together.

The days would pass by without signs of ever getting better, and you wrote letters to try and sort out your emotions. Your heart felt on the edge of giving up for complete, but you knew she would never forgive you if you were ever to leave the young girls, who still needed guidance and a home to stay in.
A year after, you were still the same, but you were certain things would start t get better. Aoi and Kanao insisted on taking you out many times, and you began enjoying life with the rest of your old comrades that survived, even the rude Shinazugawa, who seemed to be completely different.
Watching things change was surely painful, but it felt comforting, to know they were alive and well.

More letters were written, and as always, you placed them on top of her grave. Perhaps it was silly and pointless, but somehow you just knew it, that if you placed them there, she would read them from the afterlife. Maybe she was watching over you, like promised, or maybe she was having a good time with her family, as she deserved.

Two years later, it was safe to say your heart was half way through the pain you felt on the first day, and the sky was brighter. Naho, Kiyo and Sumi were growing happily with you, and you felt as though they were a great factor that contributed to your desire of staying alive and try to move on.
Planting flowers seemed something more relaxing rather than sad, and the letters were starting to decrease in number, as you felt like you no longer needed to maintain such an excessive correspondence. It would be alright, after all, you had your friends, and you just knew that one day, fate would be kind on you as well.

As you stood in front of her grave for the last time, your eyes teared up. It was with the help of the now grown up girls that you could stand and watch the name engraved in stone.
Despite knowing it would be the last time you'd visit her on Earth, your days were counted, and you knew it wouldn't be late until you two finally reunited again.
A smile crossed your lips, and a single tear fell from your almost closed left eye.

"Shinobu-chan...wait for me, please..."