The Queen of Hell

Chapter 9

*

I gasped into his kiss. His lips were surprisingly gentle and they made my brain go foggy. That was not my first kiss, not by far, I had been kissed countless times for missions but they never felt like this.

I found myself unable to respond, the shock still holding my body. He broke away and both of us were panting slightly. I felt my heart rate speed up a tiny bit but ignored it. I didn't have time for feelings, let alone feelings like this.

Nathan must've heard my heart speed up because his lips twitched into a small smile. "Good luck on your mission, Ray. Make sure you come back." Then he turned and was gone.

I was too stunned to move, or even process the childhood nickname. I just stood there, staring out the door at the place where he was just standing. Ashton appeared, back from Joseph's office and saw me just standing there. "What are you doing?" He was looking around suspiciously. I just shook my head and made my way back to where I was sitting, still almost in a trance. Snap out of it stupid! I was screaming at myself, but on the outside I was shaking myself out of it, paying attention to Ashton's plan.

***

Curled up on the armchair in my small lounge, sipping on a cup of hot chocolate I went over the plan Ashton and I came up with. I was quite happy with it; Ashton would cause a distraction with the guards and I would climb up to the roof then repel down to Kateroll's office. Then I'd kill him, make it look like an accident, then get the hell out. Simple really. I focused on memorising every detail and making backup plans in case anything went wrong. Again.

Once I got sick of painstakingly doing that I decided to be productive and get up to dye my hair.

I grabbed one of the many stocked boxes from under the sink in my bathroom and put the glove on. I covered my roots with practised ease, my normal black completely concealing the natural blonde.

***

Once my hair was done I was bored again. The only thing I could do was think about the only other thing that was occupying my mind - Nathan's kiss.

My brain and my heart were fighting - telling me opposite things. Joseph always taught me to use my brain because my heart was naive, temperamental and would kill me. But it didn't feel right to just completely ignore it; the way it fluttered, the way it sped up when he kissed me.

Also, I couldn't ignore the fact that there was nowhere for us to go. Relationships between guild members, although unlikely to occur, are highly advised against and possibly punishable if Joseph decided. I sighed, it was all just too complicated.

The only other thing I could fall back on was something else that I was taught. That you were dangerous once you controlled your feelings. You could fool anyone and master all tasks without the haze of emotions clouding your view.

It was so conflicting and I couldn't deal with it. So I did what I always did when I needed to escape my problems; I went on a run.

***

The only sounds in the alley were my soft footfalls and the distant shouts of drunken men. My way of ignoring my problems worked and the rhythm of my footsteps drowned out my thoughts, though not completely.

In the end, my body got tired of the war waging between the two sides and I ended up back at my apartment, ready to sleep.

***

I groaned, remembering it was Thursday meaning I had a training session today with the other seniors. I had just moved up to the next 'class' in the guild. That meant I went from an intermediate which is ages 17-20 and 3 sessions a week to a senior which is ages 21-25 and - thank god - 2 sessions a week. Only a few more years and I wouldn't have to attend any more training sessions. It couldn't come fast enough.